Gentle Reader -- You are welcome to peruse my web-based journal. I assure you that my contributions to this medium will be both infrequent and inconsequential. Read on!

TAKE THE LAST TRAIN TO TWINKSVILLE, AND I'LL MEET YOU AT THE STATION

Greetings to Ms. Twink, courtesy of the good people at Hallmark. posted by Carlton at 9:27 PM

MERRY CHRISTMAS, MR. POTTER

Laurie Anderson once sang: "I met a guy, and I thought to myself, 'he looks like a hat check clerk at an ice rink.' And that's exactly what he was." There is a certain feeling that you get when you approach something unknown with a preconceived idea about what it will be like, and it turns out to be exactly what you thought. I saw the latest Harry Potter movie today (by myself, since everyone is out of town this weekend), and I had this feeling. I was not surprised, either pleasantly or unpleasantly. It was fair.

I haven't seen the first movie, not have I read even a word on Ms. Rowling's prose. My nephew read me a paragraph of the blurb on the dust jacket on Friday, just to prove that he could (he is seven years old), and that's the extent of my Harry Potter experience. Even the darkness of my ignorance is a sort of twilight, however, since it's been difficult to live in the world and not pick up some details. English boy, school of wizards, wands, game you play on broomsticks, various sidekicks with funny names -- put checks by all of those.

My friends and family, all of whom have read at least one of the books, have all raved about the movie. I expected to walk in there and be entertained, but not to really 'get' the thing -- there are details, story elements, characters that I just don't know anything about. And I was right! The movie moved along at a sprightly pace, was alternately amusing and exciting, as everyone had told me. At the end, however, I had to give it a shrug. What's all the fuss about? I was left flat, I have to say.

So, the Carlton rating for this movie is two crowns (out of five), which makes it not a waste of your money to go see in the theatre. If you have read the books and enjoyed them, your rating would probably be higher.

FEAR

I went into a new Best Buy near here -- that place scares me. How can a television cost $10,000? posted by Carlton at 9:25 PM

RETURN OF THE JEDI

Anyone paying any attention to Al Gore lately?

posted by Carlton at 4:08 PM

THANKSGIVING

1. So, we're all heading up to Maine for the holiday. Might have more to say when that's over with.

2. Looks like I don't actually have to go to court on Friday after all, so my holiday weekend will be more or less uninterrupted.

3. Thanks to Scott for the blog advice!

4. Shout out to you-know-who in London! posted by Carlton at 11:14 AM

NICE

I think I will respond to this . . .

An anonymous commentator wrote (attempting to paraphrase me, I think):

My hot European ex-girlfriend, who I am still best buddies with has contacted ME because she still thinks about me daily, even though shes married. By the way shes smart as a whip, because shes getting her PhD, at some tony cracker-jack european university. Mothers love me, and they remember me too. As the one that got away from their daughters -- green card hopes eviscerated. Everyone I conscended to speak with at the esteemed University of Southern Mississippi showed how much better they were than the place...Look we can be snobs too, even though we went to one of the shittiest colleges in the country...Look they all made good...Look, I'm smart, at least I went to law school, and I'll use self-deprication to make it seem like I don't think its a big deal that now I write wills for a living

Well, Franziska is German, to be specific, and certainly attractive, and we went out for about a month one time, so sure. And I was very flattered to hear from her -- who wouldn't be? So yes, you hit it right there on the head -- right on the money, on the dot, smack dab in the middle of right on, sister. As far as hot European exes go, she's one. I have others (Kaliningrad is in Europe, even if Russia isn't, and Ireland is also). But I have someone who is taking all of my romantic attention, right now, so old flames are somewhat starved for air.

As for Southern . . . it's a school of modest achievement, to be sure, but it's taken me where I wanted to go, without breaking the bank like a Harvard (or Bates) would have. It was there that I learned to spell "condescended" properly. Heh.

Writing wills: it's nice work if you can get it, so get it if you can. There's also trusts, of course, and various other tax-saving devices.

And of course moms love me. I play very well among the 50 and-up female demographic.

Check y'all later. I have to go clean my apartment before Kris and Kris (my brother and his girlfriend) arrive. posted by Carlton at 7:09 PM

MY PEOPLE

So, I'm finding out about more and more readers. I may have as many as five or six! I'd have more if I just posted some Star Trek fan fiction. Damn.

So, Franziska is back on the scene, after a long haitus. I'm glad to hear that she's doing well, an old married lady in Munich, doin' her European Union policy thang. I understand that she will soon be Dr. Franziska -- congratulations! Say hi to your mom for me!

Soon I'll be the only person I knew in college who doesn't have a Ph.d. A J.D. doesn't count in those circles, I've found. No cachet. posted by Carlton at 12:56 PM

COURTESY OF MR. HSIEH

This is pretty good. posted by Carlton at 3:03 PM

I'M SURROUNDED

Where are all these random people coming from? I recently had to delete a number of posts with obscene words in them -- I'm a big boy, and all, but this is a family site. I notice that this page turns up pretty readily on a Google search for "Carlton King" (after the bed, though) -- but I doubt people are looking for me, specifically.

I put the Comments thing on here so that amigos and amigas could contact me . . . instead, people tell me that they read the site and only these anonymous yokels post. Whatever man . . .

Hi Franziska!

posted by Carlton at 12:05 PM

FEAR AND LOATHING

Is anyone else afraid that The Two Towers will suck? posted by Carlton at 10:34 PM

FILTHY LUCRE

So, I'm looking into buying a new place. I found one in a neighborhood of Boston known as Jamaica Plain that seems like a good deal -- lots of space, well-appointed, price is close to being right. It's not in the most convenient location I've ever seen, which means I'd probably end up taking a quick bus ride to the T every morning for work, and I'd have to drive (my new Mini Cooper S! -- once I get it) to the grocery store rather than walk, as I do now.

I rather enjoy the process of buying and selling things. Luckily, condos are not the kind of thing that one trades like baseball cards (at least this one doesn't). Having once owned, however, it becomes SO difficult to think about renting. I see some of you out there nodding your heads.

I'll keep everyone updated. posted by Carlton at 3:11 PM

PROVE ME WRONG

To that person or persons out there who was crititical of my being critical of George W. Bush and the Plutocrats, I have only one thing to say: prove me wrong. Two years from now, let this country be safer, more prosperous and less fearful than it is right now, and I'll vote for George Bush for a second term. If this administration can bring these things to pass, the it deserves four more years, frankly.

I feel confident in asserting, however, that Mr. Bush and his cronies have anything but those goals on their collective mind. In fact, I believe that the inner circle of those people whose advice in aggregate makes up the mind of the person we refer to as "George Bush" are planning a disastrous crusade which the United States cannot win, for which words such as "quagmire" and "mission creep" were coined, and which will leave our fine nation crippled in its wake. This is an administration which is already rapidly losing interest in Afghanistan; with an administrative attention span that is less than a year long and a commitment to eliminating the taxes which would fuel any long-term military endeavor, how can we hope to effectively manage a country like Iraq? posted by Carlton at 9:43 PM

CHECK ME OUT, AGAIN

Well, someone's reading.

To characterize George W. Bush and the Plutocratic party: they are wholly, completely and utterly devoted to furthering the causes of corporate America. Every economic, military and social goal that they put forth can be explained with this principle -- keep the poor down and the oil flowing, boys, both are fuel for the money machine!

No one can argue that this last election was anything other than a great victory for the Pluts. I anticipate -- having cast every ballot I could for the other side -- that the result of this victory is going to be a terrible dark age for our country, in which we decline in status in the world community and lose much of the freedom that has until now characterized us as a society whose priniples, at any rate, could be a model for peoples around the world. I fear those days may be coming to an end.

And it's not like I'm some great enemy of corporate America. Having a bit of my own lucre invested in an assortment of public companies, I think that the engines of capitalism can generate wealth for everyone who has $23.41 every so often to buy a share of GM -- one of the great things about this country. But Bush is a product of a system in which self-serving men with their hands on the levers of power can take my $23.41 and parcel it out amongst themselves and give me NOTHING in return. To hear him claim to act in the best interest of America, to hear him claim to be "compassionate" -- it boils my blood. Bush's people are used to stealing people's life's saving and also their lives, when it suits them. I don't like them.

I'm glad my anonymous foil out there voted. I hope she enjoys what comes next. posted by Carlton at 11:17 PM

CHECK ME OUT

Looks like everyone in America took my advice about giving George Bush and the Plutocrats what they wanted in the latest election. I must have a greater readership than I had thought. Hold on everyone, its going to be a rough ride. I expect more terrorism, fewer jobs, a purported permanent total repeal of the estate tax and a war in Iraq that will be quick and bloody followed by an occupation of Iraq that is longer and bloodier.

Had the Hooker Street Reunion this weekend in New Hampshire. Will perhaps write more about that later. posted by Carlton at 6:10 PM

MY FAVORITE RECLUSIVE OBSCURE WELSH POET

(Because everyone should have one . . . Just stopping in for a sec, by the way.)

The Bright Field
by R. S. Thomas

I have seen the sun break through
to illuminate a small field
for a while, and gone my way
and forgotten it. But that was the pearl
of great price, the one field that had
treasure in it. I realize now
that I must give all that I have
to possess it. Life is not hurrying

on to a receding future, nor hankering after
an imagined past. It is the turning
aside like Moses to the miracle
of the lit bush, to a brightness
that seemed as transitory as your youth
once, but is the eternity that awaits you.
posted by Carlton at 5:48 PM

A KISS BEFORE DYING

Greg's probably right -- I think I do know this person (esp since she emailed me to tell me that I know her). I don't really have any good ideas about who it might be, however.
I suppose it could be any of a number of people -- I've handed out the address of this page relatively freely, and it might turn up via some type of google search if someone were to care to look. Oh, and there are a number of folks out there who don't like me, old and new. Anyone who cares to inquire can do so at dontsilencetheraven@yahoo.com (if I got that right -- I deleted the message).

"The Raven" notwithstanding, though, I haven't been very good about doing the blog thing lately, and my long silences have probably discouraged anyone who did read this space. So, I won't go through the motions of banning the raven merely to have her pick a new moniker, etc. She wins! See y'all -- maybe later in the season.

If my new thing comes together, I'll let folks know.

Carlton W. King, Esq. posted by Carlton at 11:44 AM

HEY

I think I'm going on hiatus for a while. The external life is much more interesting than the internal, at least for the moment. Anyone who wants can reach me at carltonwking@yahoo.com in the interim. I'Il continue to read others' blogs, however.

Thinking about a new internet project, which would involve a bit more technical expertise than I currently have . . . got to go study on that one. . posted by Carlton at 7:12 PM

THE PARTY

The rest of the party story is pretty simple: quite accidentally, I became horribly, insensibly, profoundly drunk. I blame it on the "jungle juice" promulgated at the party -- whereas it SHOULD have been a combo of vodka and Kool-aid, I suspect it was more a combo of vodka and Kool-aid MIX -- not too much water in there. A couple of red plastic cups full and I was suddenly hammered. Anyway, my lovely new friend Molly was very nice and kept me company -- standing with me in the kitchen while I clung to the sink and drank glass after glass of tap water. I kept saying things to her, and she kept replying. "Yeah, you said that ten times already." Ouch. She took care of me, walked me the few blocks to my house, gave me water and aspirin and put me to bed. That's a good woman.

MINNESOTA

I wish I lived in Minnesota, just so I could vote for Walter Mondale. I remember his campaign in 1984; the one thing I remember is that he acknowleged that it might be necessary to raise taxes at some point, which is what cost him the presidency, I think. That may not be a totally accurate summary of the campaign, but it's what I remember.

BUSH

OK -- can we acknowledge that the good people of this country who are opposing George Bush are really protecting him from himself? By moderating (to an extent) his evil schemes for turning our nation wholly over to corporate interests, we may be making his presidency palatable for the voting public. Some contrarian part of me wants to follow the Give Him What He Wants plan. Let him cut taxes to the bone and eviscerate social services. Let him clear cut our national forests and poison our streams and lakes and air. Let him send our boys to war in Iraq and cause the entire world to rise up against us. Let him do that (he is our president, after all) and just see what happens. Let's see how we like it.

The problem is that Bush wants to make messes that can't be cleaned up. posted by Carlton at 10:12 AM