Gentle Reader -- You are welcome to peruse my web-based journal. I assure you that my contributions to this medium will be both infrequent and inconsequential. Read on!

QUESTIONS

1. How long do we think it will take before we blame al-Quaeda for tricking us into invading Iraq as part of their greater plan to destroy America?

2. How long before our government invokes God in its drive to have us invade Iran?

2A. When will we invade Iran?

3. What percentage of "historical background" news reports on the Iranian hostage crisis will include the fact that the United States overthrew the elected prime minister of Iran and installed the Shah in his place in the 1950s?

4. Assume that all political movements have a natural life cycle, and that at the height of its achievement a movement is already heading towards its own end. With this in mind, at what point will the radical conservative movement of which the current administration is a part "peak out" and head towards its downfall? Has this already happened? (In more current jargon -- when will Bush jump the shark?)

5. Why does Bucky pretend like he doesn't know who I am?

posted by Carlton at 5:58 PM

CRYPTIC REFERENCE DU JOUR

Thanks, America, for putting me at number on of the Utpal Parade of Blogs! posted by Carlton at 2:07 PM

OH YEAH, FRANCE

Blogger ate this one the first time around, so . . .

I am always surprised by how much Americans hate France. In my mind, I analogize our relationship to that of a punk kid with big ideas (us) with a much older person who has been around and seen and done it all (France). We've helped each other out in the past, if only by not getting involved (France not aiding the South in the Civil War, for example). France has its own interests in mind at all times, of course, but doesn't mind assisting us when it can. Believe it or not, America, our two countries are historic allies.

We, the punk kid, have an immature notion of friendship. If France disagrees with us, we think, it can't be our friend. If is isn't 100% with us, it must be our enemy! (And then come the insults: Hey, remember WWII? Cowards! Assholes!)

To which France might respond: I am not your mother. I am your friend.

To which we respond: You STILL aren't doing what we want? We'd better yell our insults louder!

Don't get me wrong, folks, I don't think that France is perfect by any means. A simple study of the pretty monuments they have littering their capital city (which I recently visited, recall) will show that France has certainly made its own mistakes, committed its own crimes (but oh, those subway trains run on time!)

But do we need to hate them? I think the group in charge of our country right now does need to hate someone, yes, in order to keep their energy up -- gays at home, France abroad. So we'd better hate them. posted by Carlton at 1:54 PM

THE INCREDIBLES, PART II
(OR IN FRANCE, LES INDESTRUCTIBLES)

Just combining a couple of really disparate thoughts that have been running around in my head:

In recent Spider-man comcs (which I used to read on my lunch hour in the bookstore next to my office, thank you), Spidey has been struggling with the notion that he is himself responsible for a lot of the problems that he has been fighting over the years -- that if, say, Electro is robbing a bank and Spidey shows up, they will fight and cause a great deal of property damage (and possibly deaths of bystanders) -- more than if Electro simply got away and were tracked through the money, etc.

Also, he's noticing that more and more of his battles are with people who simply want to kill him, and who are motivated by either a desire for glory or money or by some thought that killing Spidey would confer some of his power on them. Spidey has changed his tactics somewhat as a result, trying to deny these people the opportunity, and also giving some meta-thought to what it is about HIMSELF that is attracting all this trouble.

Needless to say, this kind of thinking is NOT going on in our White House or State Department or Pentagon at the moment. Our only thought is that there are enemies who crop up, and we fight them. Any other kind of thinking (that we are bringing this upon ourselves, to even the smallest degree) is not considered.

(spoiler ahead)

A sort-of response to Greg's comment doen the way:

In the Incredibles, the supers go into retirement and lead relatively humdrum lives. Funnily enough, they are called out of retirement by a villain who is motivated by his desire to BE one of them, and who is quietly attacking them in order to learn their weaknesses. After he is dispatched, ANOTHER villain shows up almost immediately. So -- what was going on in the meantime? No villains? Does the existence of superheroes necessitate supervillains? Does the absence of superheroes make the supervillains go away?

So, if the Incredibles conservative? Or subversive?

Radical thoughts. I'll have to go see it again to make further determinations. posted by Carlton at 1:09 PM

JE VIENS DE REVENIR

Molly and I are back from a week in Paris, which was great fun with a couple of caveats. One was that I was REALLY disappointed with the state of my French, which was never great but formerly was good enough to really get me around and talk to people. Of course, I haven't even considered speaking French to anyone in about three years, but I was surprised at how difficult it was to restart those engines in my brain.

My other quibble was with the exchange rate: I don't pretend to understand currency markets, but I do know that it has been our policy for pretty much EVER to have a strong dollar if for no other reason to make it a little cheaper to have a nice dinner at Les Hortensias on your last night in Paris. $1.30 to the Euro is pretty pathetic, since everything in Paris is expensive to start out with. (Good thing I have a job. Oh, wait . . .)

Molly seemed really to enjoy the trip, especially never having been there before. We've been planning this for some time; it was SUPPOSED to be our little victory lap after putting John Kerry into office (Thanks, America!). Instead we get to watch the BBC World Service talking heads still sitting around and saying "Uhhh, we didn't really think this was going to happen, so we don't have any thoughts about a second Bush term." Yeah, me neither.

posted by Carlton at 11:50 AM

THE INCREDIBLES

Is it good? Oh yes, it is good.

Go see it. Tell them I sent you. posted by Carlton at 5:51 PM

TIE 'EM TO THE STAKE, LET 'EM BURN

Who says you can't go back in time? Wisconsin thinks you can! We can go back and find Darwin, tell him he was all wrong. Galileo, too -- pack it in, buddy!

'Cause we all know -- if we don't let 'em teach it, it isn't true. posted by Carlton at 5:46 PM

A NICE DEVELOPMENT (BUT NOT A NEW ONE)

I have to say, I like the fact that our ability to run deficits is controlled by
Chinese central bankers. That's cool. posted by Carlton at 10:59 PM

CRIMINY

Tuesday was the day that I first realized that those crazy people in the middle of the country whom I would otherwise not give think about much (beyond my relatives, naturally) -- those people totally control of the government.

So remember -- it doesn't matter whether a goverment program accomplishes its stated goal or the opposite of its stated goal (abstinence-only education, missile defense, war on drugs), or whether a school curriculum has any basis in verifiable fact (creationism), or whether our wars are based on lies or if the lies even make sense (further wars to be announced), or whether the actions and goals of our elected officials match or are the opposite of their stated plans and goals (everything). All that matters is that our national self-image as an infallible, Christian, blessed country in which everyone is white, straight and keeps their shirt-tail tucked in is NOT QUESTIONED BY ANYONE.

So don't question it. If you do, a policeman might beat you to death in your living room, or at least put you in jail forever without even telling anyone where you are. Let's hope you weren't very attached to the idea of public schools, clean water, or being able to not participate in voluntary bible study at work. posted by Carlton at 10:45 PM

THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF POWER

Somewhat discomfited by results of recent plebiscite. Spent last five days in fetal position under blankets listening to Portishead. Awoke to find it was all dream, except not. Have returned to safety of under-blanket space.

Self and acquaintances acting as follows: 1) reading semi-satirical articles about leaving country in semi-serious fashion; 2) planning to run for elected office as Democrat; 3) reading serious articles about expatriation in serious fashion; 4) suggesting acquaintances run for elected office as Democrat; 5) watching PBS historical dramas. posted by Carlton at 10:37 PM

ELECTION DAY

In a few minutes, I will go and exercise my franchise at the school around the corner. A lot has been happening with me lately, but I feel that the result of today's election will determine the course of the days that follow much more than any small event in my own life.

I've been talking to various and sundry friends about what might happen today. Among smart, sober, plugged-in people, I have heard speculation ranging from "ho-hum business as usual, one of them wins" to "rioting in the streets." What is exciting and frightening about today is that either one of those extremes is possible, and that the more violent result may be the more likely. (I haven't heard anyone talk about secession -- but I think a Blue America of New England, New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, and the Pacific Coast, with a smattering in the upper Midwest would make a fine country.)

I love to vote for president, and I have done so three times, in three different states. Much has been made of the registration of thousands of new voters, many of them young. Republicans have been calling this "fraud" and Democrats have ben calling it "our civic duty." I heard some talking head on NPR saying that young people actually SHOULD NOT VOTE, because they are ill-informed and dilute the votes of us smarties. I think that's total bunk -- not only do I disagree with the premise that all young people are uninformed and all older folks know their stuff, but I think that voting is itself a positive. A young person, having once voted, is extremely likely to continue voting throughout life -- and we want people to participate, right? My experience has been that, even though my vote has never been influential in determining the winner, having cast a ballot gives me a stake in the outcome. Imagine a World Series in which you, a fan, get one swing of the bat. You probably didn't score the winning run, but you played.

This post is a jumble, but there will be more later, I think. posted by Carlton at 7:57 AM