Gentle Reader -- You are welcome to peruse my web-based journal. I assure you that my contributions to this medium will be both infrequent and inconsequential. Read on!

MORE RANDOM PIX!
Olivia!
Glamour!
Comedy! posted by Carlton at 7:57 PM

HEE

"No exit strategy" indeed. posted by Carlton at 7:25 PM

CD BUYER BEWARE

This story is the latest word on a situation that I've been following just because I keep stumbling upon articles written about it:

Sony BMG Music Entertainment released details Friday of a virtually unprecedented CD recall program that will allow music buyers to exchange recently purchased CDs with copy protection for new discs and MP3s.

The company is responding to widespread security worries over copy protection technology contained on 52 albums released over the last year. When put in a Windows-based computer's CD player, the discs install antipiracy technology on a hard drive that exposes the PC to the risk of viruses and other hacker attacks.

So yeah -- Sony's response to the collapse of the music industry business model is to attack their consumers. Sony sold millions of CDs -- unmarked, at the same price as their other CDs -- with an embedded spyware program that would install itself on any Windows machine and prevent certain uses of the music files. "Antipiracy," they call it. I read elsewhere that the restrictions involve only being able to copy a song file three times and the file being incompatible with use on an iPod -- just to give you some flava.

[Note to evangelical Mac users: keep it to yourself just this once, OK?]

Apparently this program, called a "rootkit" for anybody out there with more tech knowledge than I have, not only 1) buries itself in Windows so deep that it is almost impossible to remove without wrecking your whole system, but 2) transmits information from your computer back to Sony, and 3) opens up your computer to all kinds of spyware and malware, whatever that is. Sony recently put out out a removal program for the rootkit that evidently does more damage to your system than the rootkit itself.

So Sony's commercial ethics are pretty deficient. They sell you a product that not only doesn't work as well as you should expect, but will damage your other property. They don't warn you of this (I have heard that this was only discovered by some Silicon Valley tech guy putting a new disc in a computer that had special antivirus software that flagged it) or adjust the price.

Yeah they are stupid and short-sighted -- attacking both their paying customers and their artists, who will undoubtedly sell fewer discs as a result of this -- but I don't blame Sony specifically. If this occurred to Sony, then it's also occurred to every other music publisher. You can hope that Sony was a little more clever in their stupidity than the others, but expect more episodes like this in the near future. If they do it with CDs, they'll do it with downloads. They would do it with your ears if they could.

In the meantime, look for the brand you know and trust.
posted by Carlton at 12:05 PM

A DUMB THOUGHT

OK, so I am completely muddle-headed on most issues, and as such I had a misguided thought about the whole Bob Woodward thing.

To recap, without too much detail: Woodward just recently revealed that the name of CIA undercover operative Valerie Plame Wilson was leaked to him by an administration official some time before Scooter Libby leaked the name to Judith Miller. That's significant because Patrick Fitzgerald, the special prosecutor in the case, has stated that Libby was the first known official to have leaked the name.

Some thoughts. Number 3 is the most important and dumb.

1. Just because Fitzgerald has said that Libby was the first known leaker doesn't mean that there having been an earlier leaker has any effect on the case against Libby. After all, Libby is up for lying to investigators and the Grand Jury, and there having been an earlier leaker doesn't change the facts of his (alleged) perjuries and obstructions of justice.

2. Woodward was supposed to be, like, a good guy, right? One of the myriad things to come out of this situation may be Woodward's story as a meditation on the corruptive power of access and fame -- the generally accepted narrative being that Woodward traded much of his journalistic cred in exchange for having his balls washed by people in power. Start out as a muckraking giant-killer of a reporter, end up as a fame-whore sock puppet. We'll see.

3. Everyone is speculating on who the leaker might be. Kevin Drum channels the WSJ:

WOODWARD'S SOURCE....The Wall Street Journal says that all of the following people have either been ruled out as Bob Woodward's source or have denied it:


Dick Cheney ("Isn't believed to have talked to Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald since last year, nor has he given a waiver to Mr. Woodward. That removes him as Mr. Woodward's source.")

George Bush
Dan Bartlett
Doug Feith
Carl Ford
George Tenet
John McLaughlin
Colin Powell
Steven Hadley
Condoleezza Rice
John Bolton
Karl Rove
Marc Grossman and Rich Armitage couldn't be reached for comment.

Needless to say, any of these people could be lying. But for what it's worth, they're all now on the record saying it wasn't them.

Many people seem to think that the leaker was Cheney, or Hadley, or Rove. My dumb thought is that, while he appears on this list, not too many people have been talking about the possibility that George himself is the leaker. After all, Bush certainly spoke with Woodward at length and many different times during 2003. Woodward wrote an entire book based on his Bush interviews:

Plan of Attack (2004), about how and why George W. Bush decided to go to war with Iraq, relies primarily on two long interviews with the President, but also features interviews with 75 key White House insiders.

Wouldn't it be funny, don't you think, if this entire Valerie Plame brouhaha was somehow about covering up a mess made by the president himself? It makes a certain amount of sense -- I could see George not quite understanding what you can and can't say to a friend like Bobby Woodward, and members of his staff lining uip to fall on their swords to protect him. When you work at the White House, you pretty much take a pledge to be a suicide bomber if the President needs you to (not even if he asks you to, because he may not ask you, just if he needs you to).

Just thinking.

posted by Carlton at 2:55 PM

THE POOR MAN GETS LETTERS

See link at left:

Jean Schmidt, whose heart-warming recounting of a phone call from a pro-war Colonel Danny Bop drove the Democrats into a tizzy on Friday, has received a letter from this soldier, which she has passed along for us to reprint, which we will, without comment.

As a veteran of Vietnam, Korea, Afghanistan, Panama, and both Iraq Wars, I can say with some authority that Col. Bop is exactly right in his observation that people - like Rep Murtha - who advocate ending wars are cowards. Further, in my experience, this sort of person tends to prance about in frilly underwear in his free time. My point is this: I didn’t leave my limbs scattered all across God’s green Earth like so many Lincoln Logs so I could listen to a big girl’s blouse like Col. Murtha sit there and tell me my sacrifice means nothing! So I praise Rep. Schmidt for her courage in calling a 37-year Marine veteran a big pussy, and I’d like her to know that I’d follow her into a foxhole anywhere. Rrrrrroooowwww!

Nine-Star General A. Paco Ryphal
99 Make-Pretend Plaza
Lollipop Town, USA

Maybe more on this whole Murtha business later. Or maybe not! I'm muddle-headed, after all! posted by Carlton at 2:40 PM

SOMETHING INTERESTING

Congessman Murtha (D-PA) -- who, I'm sorry to say, I had not heard of before today -- has come out with a strong condemnation of the situation in Iraq:

The war in Iraq is not going as advertised. It is a flawed policy wrapped in illusion. The American public is way ahead of us. The United States and coalition troops have done all they can in Iraq, but it is time for a change in direction. Our military is suffering. The future of our country is at risk. We cannot continue on the present course. It is evident that continued military action is not in the best interests of the United States of America, the Iraqi people or the Persian Gulf Region....

"I said over a year ago, and now the military and the Administration agrees, Iraq can not be won "militarily." I said two years ago, the key to progress in Iraq is to Iraqitize, Internationalize and Energize. I believe the same today. But I have concluded that the presence of U.S. troops in Iraq is impeding this progress.

"Because we in Congress are charged with sending our sons and daughters into battle, it is our responsibility, our obligation, to speak out for them. That's why I am speaking out.

"Our military has done everything that has been asked of them, the U.S. can not accomplish anything further in Iraq militarily. It is time to bring them home."

(via Americablog. There's a lot more.)

Apparently, Murtha is an important guy to look to on these matters, being 1) the most prominent of the Democratic hawks, 2) the senior Dem on the Defense Appropriations subcommitee, and 3) a former career Marine -- someone who has clout and credibility when speaking on this topic.

Maybe I'll have something more to say about this later. Who knows? posted by Carlton at 4:14 PM

RANDOM PIX

Can I post without Picasa?
Found art! (aka trash)
Pretty flowers!
An Unidentified Apostle posted by Carlton at 10:42 PM

AT A PLACE WHERE THREE ROADS CONVERGE

My lovely wife and I went to a local bar on Monday where there is good trivia -- the questions usually make sense and are at a very good level of difficulty (not too low, not too high). Our team rocked -- we came in first, and won $100. I feel compelled to state that I did well, personally -- although everyone on the team contributed their bit to lead us on to total victory.

Go team. posted by Carlton at 12:31 PM

REALITY CHECK

It appears that reality has finally caught up with the Bush people -- until now, they have been like a dog tied to a pole with a very long rope. They could have gone anywhere within that limit, but instead they took off running in one misguided direction until it caught them short by the collar and jerked them off their feet.
Bad for them, good for us. ("Us" being America.)

The father of my friend Marcia used to say the following: "No one is useless, because anyone can serve as a bad example." Some part of me thinks that it's a bad thing for the presidency to melt down (as I think this one is about to do) -- bad for the country, in a "what will we tell the children" kind of way. But really I don't believe that, because 1) It is a GOOD thing for us to remember that it matters whom we elect, because the government is not some machine that runs itself, and 2) these people have done enough bad shit that they deserve whatever humiliation and criminal penalties come their way -- and then some.

It is apparently now OK to talk about the end of this term, even though it's three years away. I've seen the word "impeachment" bandied about, but I find that to be very unlikely unless the Dems take Congress back next year. "Resignation" seems much more likely, and much more George W. Bush's style. He got to wear the funny costumes and give speeches for a while, and put all his friends and their college buddies in important-sounding positions -- but it soon got be be too much hard work. George doesn't like hard work -- more than that, he's not used to it, doesn't know what it is.

So, I think if he loses some of his very closest advisors, who have been propping him up all this time and telling him how much fun he had been having, he may very well resign. Cheney won't resign, but I don't see how he could be president, either. MMM -- constitutional crisis! And even if he does resign together with GWB, that leases us with . . . Dennis Hastert? Who is having his own problems with the Jack Abramoff thing? Great!

I realize that I am veering off into David Baldacci territory, here. Still, even the New York Times has said that it's hard to imagine three more years under Bush. It's hard to imagine three more years, it's hard to imagine an impeachment or resignation, it's hard to imagine Cheney being president for even one minute (hello, war with Syria!), it's hard to imagine any of the possible outcomes. That leads me to believe that something very unusual is about to happen.

Stay tuned. posted by Carlton at 11:53 AM

LONG TIME NO SEE ROUNDUP

1. I just read a recap of an exchange between Paul Krugman (Princeton economist and NYT columnist) and Bill O'Reilly (Fox blowhard) from a few years ago. O'Reilly referred to Krugman as a "quasi-socialist." Krugman objected that he was in no way a socialist.

O: I said "quasi."
K: Well, that's a wonderful--then you're a quasi-murderer.

Nice one, Paul.

2. I was talking to my wife the other night as we were both about to fall asleep when the line "these are the pearls that were his eyes" popped into my brain. You probably know where that's from, but I didn't. It's The Waste Land. How long has it been since I read that? A decade? How funny.

3. I still haven't finished my book, although I'm close. As I got near to what I thought was the end, I realised that it needed more materal in several places. I'm hoping to have it done by the end of 2005, though -- so I won't have been writing on it for an entire year. My only goal at this point is for it to be finished. Good or bad -- and I go back and forth. I think there's some good things in there, but the whole project is so misguided that I wonder that I haven't just put the whole thing down the garbage disposal.

That is all. posted by Carlton at 11:40 AM

OLD FRIENDS

I don't have too many friends in Mississippi, these days. After Katrina, the only person I could think of on the Gulf Coast to worry about was my friend Anna Marie (a lawyer-turned-nurse), whose house was THIS CLOSE to the Gulf in Bay St. Louis. After the storm, I didn't try to call her, just because I figured that there were other people who needed to know how she was doing more than me, and the phone lines were all scrambled up anyway.

I caught up with her this week, at long last. The house where she and her husband lived is now just a slab of concrete surrounded by debris, and the lot may be declared unbuildable (or any new construction will have to be elevated 35 feet or so to comply with code -- and it's pretty expensive to build a new house on top of 35-foot stilts, in case anyone ever asks you). Her husband is a fireman, so he's stayed on the coast (living in a FEMA-issued travel trailer) while she's gone to live with her sis in Missouri. I'm glad that she's OK.

Greg, of links at left fame, my college roommate whom I haven't seen in TEN YEARS, told me he was coming to my neck of the woods in October. Cool! Then he came and went without saying anything. I emailed him last week to say what's up with the trip dude, and he replied, oh dude, I did it already, sorry.

Grrrrrrr. posted by Carlton at 12:23 PM

AHTISTIC

So I draw about as well as I sing, which is a devastating commentary on my drawing. My wife, on the other hand, draws MUCH BETTER than she sings. She's recently relaunched her personal/commercial website on the left (same link, different address). She took a class, put it together herself. It's pretty faboo, and everyone should go look at it.

Speaking of links to the left, I've added the Poor Man, as I threatened to do a few posts ago. The Editors is really quite the incisive writer, although he likes kitties a bit too much for my taste.



Read it fools! Read it all! posted by Carlton at 12:17 PM

PARTY SHUFFLE

I'm taking a little skip down memory lane, wearing a garland in my hair and my favorite floral summer frock. I am just now recording all of my CDs into iTunes (ripping? burning? yes, I am SOOOO hip to this computer lingo, I just can't tell you). Because I just moved, I have all of my discs right here in a box, and I don't have to make my office into any more of a mess than it was anyway. So go me.
Now that I have a little library built up, the "party shuffle" button has given up some pretty funny results. I hadn't listened to Joni Mitchell's "Blue" in a long time, and that was quite nice.

But what IS this stuff? I haven't counted how many CDs I have accumulated over the years, but it's safe to say that I haven't gotten rid of very many. I decided that, aside from some initial triage (I'm not recording any classical music at this time, and I'm not going to record any music that I never liked in the first place -- Tin Machine?) I decided not to make any editorial decisions at this time. By that I mean that I'm going to record everything that I ever liked. Even if I haven't listened to it in ten years, it's going on the computer, for posterity if nothing else.

On the other hand, I had some pretty bad taste -- well, um, DIFFERENT, anyway -- in college and in the years immediately following. Interestingly enough, that's when I did a great deal of CD buying. I've liked a lot of different types of music since reaching self-awareness on the topic sometime in college. Back then I would become a BIG FAN of some artist and buy a bunch of CDs because I wanted EVERYTHING they ever did. That, as it turns out, was turd-headed foolishness.

Specifically, I am referring to my long affair with Nanci Griffith -- and when I cheated on her with Patsy Cline. (Now I'd much prefer Loretta Lynn and Alison Krauss, if I were listening to that subgenre.) I ended up with a LOT of their recordings. I'm afraid that, when I'm done, I'll hit "party shuffle" and "Gulf Coast Highway" and "Honky-tonk Merry Go-Round" will alternate 100 times in a row.

But of course there's the Police and Pink Floyd and the Beatles, and then there's always my wife's collection of Blur and Pulp and REM to balance them out.

Holy shit I hope so. posted by Carlton at 11:46 AM

MAN DOWN

Via the Poor Man, who I've been reading so much he deserves a permalink, we have the story of Daniel, a soldier in Iraq who has been held past his discharge date by the stop-loss practices of the current administration. Daniel is a blogger, and unhappy about being stop-lossed, and has sounded off about his unhappiness in the Internet. He has been quite critical of the war, the administration, the Army and his own situation.

Here's his last blog entry, in its entirety:

Double Plus Ungood

I thank all of you who have been so supportive recently. I have never before received so much positive feedback, and it was very heart-warming to know that so many people out there care. Having said that, it breaks my heart to say that this will be my last post on this blog. I wish I could just stop there, but I can not. The following also needs to be said:

For the record, I am officially a supporter of the administration and of her policies. I am a proponent for the war against terror and I believe in the mission in Iraq. I understand my role in that mission, and I accept it. I understand that I signed the contract which makes stop loss legal, and I retract any statements I made in the past that contradict this one. Furthermore, I have the utmost confidence in the leadership of my chain of command, including (but not limited to) the president George Bush and the honorable secretary of defense Rumsfeld. If I have ever written anything on this site or on others that lead the reader to believe otherwise, please consider this a full and complete retraction.

I apologize for any misunderstandings that might understandably arise from this. Should you continue to have questions, please feel free to contact me through e-mail. I promise to respond personally to each, but it may take some time; my internet access has become restricted.

We live in interesting times, sure enough. posted by Carlton at 11:35 AM

TELL US WHAT YOU REALLY THINK, BILL

This is a direct steal from a post by Kevin Drum, but so be it.

Bill Bennett, former Secretary of Education, virtuecrat and slot-machine addict, reportedly said the following when asked about providing funding for public schools for classroom computers:

He told me he would not help, because he did not want public schools to obtain new funding, new capability, new tools for success. He wanted them, he said, to fail so that they could be replaced with vouchers,charter schools, religious schools, and other forms of private education. Well, I thought, at least he's candid about his true views.

This was while he was Secretary of Education.

Read the whole story here.

I only repeat this here because I've had arguments with friends about what the Repubs really want to do -- I say they want to eliminate public schools, environmental regs, worker protection, the minimum wage. My friends and relatives, many of the Mississippians, pooh-pooh that. Nonsense, they say. They haven't said that.

Well yeah, they don't say it. Except for Bill Bennett. Personally, I don't think you have to lie about good ideas. posted by Carlton at 10:02 PM

A BULLSHIT LIST

So Boston.com has published a bullshit list of the top 50 Sci-fi shows of all time. Why is this list bullshit?

1. Because any list of this type, being totally subjective, is inherently bullshit,

2. Because it's bullshit. Futurama is 41, behind Stargate Atlantis (26)? My Favorite Fucking Martian (32)? Dr. Who (8) makes the Top 10 (thankfully) but is behind Stargate S-G1 (6)? TWILIGHT ZONE (7) is behind SG-1? You're kidding me!

There's a lot to be said about this list, but it's pretty clear that not much thought was put into it.

and,

3. The list is triply bullshit because Boston.com doesn't give it to you as a list. You have to click though every entry and read their bullshit commentary (the Avengers' commentary manages to omit the name of Dame Diana Rigg, who played Mrs. Peel with sublime hotness, for example) to get to the next one.

Bullshit.

Idiots. posted by Carlton at 8:19 PM

THE CLARION WHO?

The Jackson, MS Clarion-Ledger was one of the two very thin newspapers we read in my house growing up. I didn't know, however, that it was capable of actual journalism. Seems our leaders are looking to place the blame for the Katrina debacle firmly where it belongs:

The Clarion-Ledger has obtained a copy of an internal e-mail the U.S. Department of Justice sent out this week to various U.S. attorneys' offices: "Has your district defended any cases on behalf of the (U.S.) Army Corps of Engineers against claims brought by environmental groups seeking to block or otherwise impede the Corps work on the levees protecting New Orleans? If so, please describe the case and the outcome of the litigation."

Yep, we WOULD have fixed the levees, made them better than you could imagine. Forget a Category 5 hurricaine, they woulda been good against a Category 6, or even a 7! But those lousy environmental groups, they wouldn't let us. Because they're so strong, and we always have to do what they say. So it really wasn't our fault! posted by Carlton at 9:50 PM

REBUILDING

This column by Paul Krugman started me thinking about how the Bush people will run the reconstruction effort.

What I expect, and fear, that they will do is just what they have done in Iraq and with the Global War on Whatever: spend ludicrous amounts of money, most of which is siphoned off into the pockets of the heads of a few major corporations. The rest of the money will be used to make a pitiful beginning of a few projects that they can point to and say, "Look! Progress!"

If the Bush people are allowed to do this thing in their own way, I expect that a couple of years and a couple of hundred billion dollars down the road, the Gulf Coast will be only partially rebuilt, most of the refugees still will be living in rusting trailer parks built by the Shaw Group in the desert and sending their children substandard "recovery schools" run by Halliburton. Both the trailers and the schools will cost a premium over alternative solutions available through already-existing programs (i.e. Section 8 and the normal public schools) and will ensure that these refugees remain part of a permanent underclass -- even more than before, because now they are isolated from the services and opportunities of a major city, however meager those may have been before Katrina. Their former neighborhoods will still be uninhabitable, or will have been turned into gated subdividions.

And the Bush people will point to the crime and unsanitary conditions in the parks and say, "Government can't help these people. Look at how much we've spent on them already! They need to take responsibility for their own situation." And any family or individual who leaves the parks to love with relatives are start somewhere else will be lauded as a success story for the program as a whole.

You heard it here first, folks. posted by Carlton at 11:54 AM

HOSPITALS OR PIPELINES?

Which is more important? My hometown paper, the Hattiesburg American, has the White House's answer.

My favorite quote:

[Line foreman Matt]Ready said the crew members did not learn they were restoring power to pipelines until after the job was done.

How did they feel about that?

"Is this on the record?" Ready asked. "Well, then, we are all glad we were able to help out."

posted by Carlton at 4:47 PM

BONES

So this new show premiered last night, starring our friend Emily as Dr. Temperance Brennan,scientific sleuth. (She's really much more Molly's friend than mine, although I certainly know her, and she might very well remember who I am.) To be honest it's not really my thing, although I thought that Emily did well -- I've never been a big fan of the crypto-scientific crime drama genre. I expect it will do very well for her.

We will certainly continue to watch. however. Congratulations to Emily! posted by Carlton at 11:59 AM

SPECIALTIES

This is an interesting article from USN&WR -- interesting that this conservative-leaning mag would lean away from Bush, yada yada.

Mostly it's interesting because it quotes Nancy Staudt, a "visiting professor at Northwestern" as a "specialist in how government institutions make decisions." Prof Staudt was a visiting professor of tax law at BU while I was there. She had the dual distinctions of 1. Teaching a course in gift and estate tax law and never having heard of Anna Nicole Smith (who was a -ahem- big story at the time) and 2. Being the most attractive professor I believe I have had in my post graduate studies (I'd say the pic on her profile does not do her justice). Boy that seminar paper I did was shit, though, huh?

She was a good teacher -- very knowledgeable, professional -- I simply had no idea she was a "specialist in how government institutions make decisions". Maybe that's a new specialty. posted by Carlton at 11:43 AM

REBATES

I just called Hewlett-Packard to register my displeasure. Not with the computer that I purchased, which is working fine so far, but with the entire mail-in rebate system upon which the computer industry is apparently founded. Everyone has probably had this experience: The thing (computer, software, printer, phone, whatever) advertises itself at a certain price, let's say $700, and at the register you have to pay $1,000. You, the consumer, then have to send in a form that is enclosed with the thing and wait a hundred years to get the money back.

In this case, the form is a receipt-like strip of paper that printed out at the checkout and one exists for each COMPONENT of the computer I bought -- computer box, monitor, printer. Also, the forms call for the UPC symbol from each BOX thet each component came in -- which is extremely inconvenient because the boxes were discarded immediately, as we have a houseful of boxes right now and if we didn't get rid of them as soon as possible my wife and I would get divorced. And then there's the printer that came with the computer, which I'm keeping in its box because I have a printer/scanner that I'm alreadyusing -- and I don't want to open it up and cut the box just to get the UPC symbol. So, they say, fill the forms in without the UPC symbols, we'll send you a non-complying form card, you'll send THAT back in, and hopefully I'll get my rebates back before the sun exhausts all its fuel and collapses in upon itself.

What do other people do about this? posted by Carlton at 1:07 PM

THE USUAL SUSPECTS

Well, this didn't take long:

At least two major corporate clients of lobbyist Joe Allbaugh, President Bush's former campaign manager and a former head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, have already been tapped to start recovery work along the battered Gulf Coast.

One is Shaw Group Inc. (Research) and the other is Halliburton Co. (Research) subsidiary Kellogg Brown and Root. Vice President Dick Cheney is a former head of Halliburton.

Bechtel National Inc., a unit of San Francisco-based Bechtel Corp., has also been selected by FEMA to provide short-term housing for people displaced by the hurricane. Bush named Bechtel's CEO to his Export Council and put the former CEO of Bechtel Energy in charge of the Overseas Private Investment Corporation.

This makes me want to scream and shout. Halliburton. Bechtel. It never stops.

Up to and including:

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President Bush issued an executive order Thursday allowing federal contractors rebuilding in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina to pay below the prevailing wage.

. . .

The Davis-Bacon law requires federal contractors to pay workers at least the prevailing wages in the area where the work is conducted. It applies to federally funded construction projects such as highways and bridges.

Never let it be said that there was a disaster so vast and a situation so serious that it wasn't an opportunity for naked crony capitalism and union-busting. posted by Carlton at 1:11 PM

CARLTON NICHT TOT

(Yeah, my German, whatever.)

So, I'm in the awkward position of getting sick during the very brief period when I don't have health insurance. I have the option of getting on COBRA at my last job, of course, but that would take a few days and cost $250 just to cover me for the three weeks left before my new job's benefits kick in. The doctor's visit here cost me just $70, so it was cheaper just to pay.

I could just wait, of course. But my symptoms were these strange and very painful headaches. Not only do they hurt a lot, and are totally unheard of for me or my family, but a quick net search turns up poosibilities ranging from "totally benign" to "NARM!" (U.S. cable TV reference.) So I went, and they told me it was nothing. Probably.

Oh yeah -- probably related to migraines. That's all I need. Migraines. I blame it on Bush, myself. posted by Carlton at 11:56 AM

ONWARD

On other topics:

I bought a new computer the other day -- a HP shitbox of one kind or another. I agonized over it for all of about ten minutes. I knew how much I wanted to spend, and I don't do anything besides word-prcessing and net surfing. So any computer on sale at the large electronics outlet store where I went would have done the trick.

All I know is that it will fail me at some point or another, probably an incovenient one.

The computer is silver, by the way.

. . . and I went to my first Nationals game today, at RFK stadium. It's a big place, where even decent 35,000 baseball crowds can seem dwarfed -- it used to be a football stadium, people say, as if that explained everything. (More people go to football than baseball? Are football fans fatter?)

I gather that the Nats are super happy that they aren't Expos any more -- Montreal is a great city and Canada a great country, but the Montrealeans seem to have treated their home team in the same way that the Bushies treated New Orleans.

That puts me at three professional baseball parks -- Fenway, Yankee Stadium (where I saw the Mets shell the Yankees), and RFK (where the Nats were given a big titty-twister by the Florida Marlins tonight). I don't have a much interest in baseball, really, but I do like going to games. And Nats tix are cheap.

That is all. posted by Carlton at 12:33 AM

PICTURES = A CERTAIN NUMBER OF WORDS

How was it in New Orleans? This bad.

So, I don't read German, but I know what's in the pictures.

By the way, we aren't supposed to be seeing any bad pictures from New Orleans. That might makeus think that something bad happened there. Which is nonsense, because Brownie was doing such a great job. posted by Carlton at 12:29 AM

MALADMINISTRATION

This NYT article contains the Bush quote about not anticipating the levee breaches.

Given what I and others have said, it really can't be maintained that we, as a country, didn't anticipate this. They, the ones in charge, were not paying attention.

Some of them were on vacation, as I recall.

I've said this a number of times, but it bears repeating -- this administration, and the cabal that put them in power, is really good at manipulating appearances. They can make a good man look bad, they can make bad acts seem good, or at least harmless trivialities. They can make the fair seem unfair, or the reverse.

They are master illusionists. What they can't do, to save their lives (or ours, apparently), is accomplish anything real. They can't actually feed the hungry or rebuild a country, or rescue those in need. They can't actually make the trains run on time or keep the roads in good repair. They can't get buses and gas and food and water to desperate citizens in a timely manner -- they can only play a furious game of catch-up when it turns out that they are starting to look bad. posted by Carlton at 3:43 PM

RAPID RESPONSE

I have been out of touch for most of the last few days, without television and internet for most of it, and tied up with my move and real-estate transactions in any case, so I have not been following most of the coverage of Katrina and the response. For obvious reasons, I have been primarily concerned with my own flesh and blood -- who are, without exception, safe and sound (but inconvenienced).

Now, finally, I have had a chance to spend some time in front of the news channels and the computer screen. I've seen the briefings and Mr. Bush's speech. I've been reading the commentaries.

I am appalled.

As some of you know, I was married in New Orleans in May of this year. Molly and I arrived in the city a few days ahead of the rest of our party in order to get our marriage license and look around a bit before the circus came to town. We walked around the French Quarter and to the Riverwalk, and went uptown to a restaurant that we had visited previously. We had a good time.

While we explored the city, I explained to Molly what I knew about the precarious relationship with the waters that surrounded it: the city was entirely below sea level, only the levees kept it safe, the nightmare scenario was a giant hurricane breaking those levees and drowning the entire place.

How did I know this? Am I a civil engineer? A member of the Army Corps of Engineers? A resident of New Orleans? A FEMA official?

No, I knew about it because it was COMMON KNOWLEDGE -- I read it somewhere, and I don't remember where. I've heard people discuss a Scientific American article from a few years ago that laid this out, but I don't think I read that one. I read The Control of Nature by John McPhee in college (fifteen years ago), and I recall a section about the ACOE working to keep the Mississippi River in its banks which might have contained something about it.

According to DailyKos: President George W. Bush said, yesterday, "I don't think anyone anticipated the breach of the levees."

For all of our sakes, I hope that quote is a total fabrication, or at least taken out of context in the most partisan possible way.

[Lest we forget a similar quote by then National Security Advisor C. Rice: "No one could have anticipated an attack of this nature." By which she meant planes being crashed into buildings.] posted by Carlton at 11:14 AM

STURM UND DRANG

I'm happy to report that, in the wake of Katrina (this storm having been memorable enough that the "Hurricane" part will probably be dropped without anyone missing it), my family is unharmed and doing well. Trees fell on the house and a car in the driveway, and there's no water or electricity and food is scarce, and they are sweltering in their hermetically sealed centrally air-conditioned (except not NOW) home. My sister, who lives in Maine, and I have urged them to come away and stay with one of us for a while, and perhaps they will do that. They are reluctant to leave their home, of course, but it's too hot to stick it out down there, I think.

As my mother said, waiting for the storm: "We weren't much here in Mississippi before this, but we won't be anything after it."

I, personally, was very lucky in this storm because my brother's cell phone has worked continuously for the entire period, except for a few hours when the storm was directly over Hattiesburg. I spoke yesterday with an old USM friend who hadn't heard from her mother in Laurel and who was medicating the resulting insanity with Kahlua and skim milk in a ratio of 3:1. Later on, she called to let me know that 1) her mother was fine and 2) the medication was working.

I am tempted to thank God for their safety. But what do I thank Him for? Sparing their lives? Causing them to move to Hattiesburg instead of Gulfport forty years ago? Sending the tree through the roof of the bedroom and not the dining room?

Still, I am thankful.

For our local writer-in-residence's take on the situation, please check out this piece in the Paper of Record. posted by Carlton at 10:26 AM

OH HELLO, PART II

So I said that there would be more later, and it's later now and . . . well, there's not much more. I'm moving to DC to work with the IRS -- ta-daaa!

It looks to be a decent job, and I'm very pleased to have it. That will probably be just about all I have to say about my work on this page, except in the most general sense. I don't post here anonymously, and I understand that posting about the events at one's workplace is a dangerous activity. And there's the small matter of a low-level security clearance that I must qualify for and maintain . . . you get the idea.

My lovely wife is coming too, of course -- what she will do to occupy her time in our nation's capital is as yet unknown. The plan is to give her plenty of time to work on her aaaaht -- since she was kind enough to put up with me quitting my job and writing a crappy sci-fi novel for a few months. She may have a regular job or she may not, depending on what comes her way.

I do wonder if the postcard bandit will pick up on this move, as she did on the last one. I do believe I've figured out who it was, not that it matters now. Makes me wonder why it took so long.

End of transmission. posted by Carlton at 6:24 PM

OH HELLO

Yes, I've been away from blogging for really a long time. That's kind of unfortunate, since many events of moment have traspired in my absence. The moments have passed, you might say. And I have refused (so churlishly!) to provide my much-needed analysis.

Yeah, whatever. Here's the story, in brief:

After some time on the soup line, I found a job (via a dear friend) working for a lefty fund-raising operation here in Boston. I was their "in-house legal counsel" no less. While toiling away at that, I found a more permanent job in Washington D.C., to which locale my lovely new wife and I will be relocating next week. We've sold our nice Jamaica Plain condo (snif!) and are moving to Arlington, VA to live the next segment.

What's the job, you ask? Let me tell you -- it is controversial. It is so controversial that I'm guessing that a couple of my readers will cease to call me friend once they find out what I am doing.

I am working for the Internal Revenue Service.

(more later) posted by Carlton at 10:15 PM

WHOA

I don't really consider myself to be a Trekkie, or a Trekker, or any of those things . . . but I'm enough of one that this headline gave me pause:

Khan 'gave centrifuges to N. Korea'

I mean, isn't Khan supposed to be running around at about this time? (Before he puts himself in suspended animation and sleeps until the Dorky-first century, of course.)

If anyone were peddling nuclear secrets, you KNOW it would be him.

Who would it be? Khaaaaan! posted by Carlton at 10:10 PM

ALL OF THE TIME?

I was travelling on the day of the London bombings (down to DC and back for another job interview) -- everything was remarkably normal. Not to downplay the tragedy of the situation -- or rather, specifically to downplay it -- everyone treated the subject as a matter of introductory small talk in my interviews: "Oh did you come down from Boston? Not such a good day to travel, is it?"

I remember someone, sometime said:

"We have to get back to the place we were, where terrorists are not the focus of our lives, but they're a nuisance."

Well, that seems like just what is happening, and I think it's exactly right and proper. Everyone decries the current craptacular state of our news industry, particularly the 24-hour news channels -- I particularly like the "Where the White Women At?" satire -- but when Al-Qaeda finds itself competing with the Laci Petersons and the Jackos and the Missing Princesses in Aruba of the world, they really have lost. We will certainly continue to pay attention to terrorism, of course, and it makes good TV, but only in its turn.

This is bad news, of course, for those whose main qualification for holding onto power is the ability to terrorize the public with the terror of impending terrorism. Not to be condescending, or anything.

Speaking of Dear Leader's weird facial expressions, did anyone see him standing behind Tony Blair while the latter was addressing the world about the bombings? Was he sucking on a lemon? Trying not to laugh out loud?

I'm having trouble posting pictures again, but it can be found here. This isn't the best picture of what I'm talking about -- I'll have to look for more. posted by Carlton at 11:45 AM

TRUE DAT

Kevin Drum sez:

As near as I can tell, there are now more people dedicated to making the internet unusable than there are people who actually use the internet. But it was nice while it lasted.

I've had a particularly troublesome round of computer viruses lately, beginning with "Antivirus Gold" and ending with a slew of extremely persistent bugs that came in on its coattails. A combo of Adaware, McAfee, HiJack This!, Killbox and a new one on me called "Clamwin" (no realtionship to Scientology, I hope) seems to have done the trick. My old computer is a pile of crap, though. Perhaps a new one is in order?

Yeah, there's a lot to be said about how a good thing doesn't last very long until it's perverted into a bad thing, blah blah blah fishcakes. Most of the scams used on the Internet are just souped-up versions of ones that used to be used through direct mail or door-to-door methods. Now, though because it costs them nothing to send out a million emails at once . . .et cetera, et cetera. Those Nigerians sure are persistent, however. I give them that. They may be crooks, and have bad grammar, but they aren't lazy. posted by Carlton at 11:16 AM

GREETINGS, CITIZEN!

Well, I haven't had a whole lot of blogging time in the past few weeks (boo hoo for all concerned, I know). Here's a few items on the list of things that are going on:

1. Got married, had honeymoon, came back to Boston, started new job at Grassroots Campaigns, Inc. Shortly thereafter, had party for Boston people that involved, as the result of a lost bet, Carlton singing "All Shook Up" to the assembled worthies. (To rave reviews, naturally.)

2. Been fighting with the wife. What do newlyweds fight about? Tom Cruise, of course. Her position: fanatically anti-Cruise. Mine: Cruise is making an ass of himself, may be experiencing some kind of psychotic episode, is doing his career and Katie's career no favors, BUT -- sci-fi lover that I am, I wanted to see War of the Worlds. The wife, overreacting as usual, accuses me of embracing Scientology in all of its pseudo-religious quackery.

(2A. By the way, my prediction about the Tom/Katie Affair is that they will get married, he will get crazier and crazier, and then he will KILL her in a fit of psychotic, thetan-induced rage. Wouldn't that be a story? Not that I want Miss Holmes to die -- she's mighty cute -- but it's where I see this train heading. You read it here first, folks.)

3. Saw War of the Worlds, which was good! I read a review in which it was described as a "high-tech 1950s science fiction movie," which is about right. My one quibble is the "Signs" effect: these super advanced aliens fall for that? But you know, this doesn't bother me too much -- they are aliens, after all, so they are allowed to act in ways that don't make sense to us.

And, let's see what's breaking on the national stage:

1. If the President makes a speech in the forest, and nobody watches, is it still a lie? (Fave line from that story: "The speech drew the smallest TV audience in the history of his presidency.")

2. So, looks like our boy Karl may have committed perjury by telling the grand jury that he wasn't the Valerie Plame leaker when he actually WAS the Valerie Plame leaker. Oops. Perhaps, as Bush himself has done so often during his time in office, Rove merely "misspoke."

3. Anything else? I guess we're finally going to have this abortion thing out in the Senate. That's good -- I'm sure that most deliberative of bodies will handle this sensitive issue in a judicious and thoughtful manner.

4. Some more predictions: Iraq will collapse into civil war before the 2006 elections. As Pres. Bush continues to insist that we will "win" if we just "stay the course," any Republican who wants to run for President will have to demonstrate how different he is from Bush in order to have even a chance. And Bill Frist, just so you know, doesn't have one. And Tom Cruise kills Katie Holmes. posted by Carlton at 7:38 PM

GREATEST HITS

So, here's a flashback to March 5, 2005, on this here blog:

So . . . even IF

1. Going to war with Iraq is necessary, AND
2. Now is the time to do so, AND
3. This is so important that we should do it alone if necessary . . .
4. Does ANYONE think that THIS administration is savvy enough about the region, our necessary alliances with other countries, collecting intelligenece abroad and putting it to good use and the infinitely complex politics of being a colonial power (which is what this is all about, take note) to make it work?

(Teacher, pick ME! I know the answer!)

Personally, I wouldn't trust this administration to organize a two-car funeral. I wouldn't let George Bush water my plants while I was out of town for the week. This is an administration that FORGOT ABOUT Afghanistan when drafting the new budget. This is an administration that publicly betrayed our allies the Kurds in Northern Iraq by agreeing to hand them over to their deadly enemies, the Turks -- and got NOTHING in return. It's saying something when TURKEY is more democratic than we are.

And from March 18 of the same year:

[I]n case it hasn't been said enough, this war belongs to George W. Bush. He has chosen it, forced it, expended an enormous amount of political capital to make it happen, and it is his. No other candidate in 2000 wanted such a war, not Bill Bradley or John McCain or even Pat Buchanan (if he was a candidate -- I honestly don't remember). As a result, the consequences are his as well. If this war brings peace, prosperity and glory to our nation, then W should rightfully get all the credit. If it turns into a unnavigable quagmire that signals the ultimate decline of our nation (as I fear), then that will belong to him as well. If it does go badly, however, don't expect him to take any lumps -- being W means never having to say you're sorry.

posted by Carlton at 10:50 AM

SOME NOLA PIX

Just back in town long enough to pack and have a job interview (I know!). Meanwhile, I thought my public might enjoy some pix from our trip. Molly and I weren't doing much picture taking at the wedding, of course, so the best pix will probably come from other people. I have always depended on the digital cameras of strangers . . . posted by Carlton at 1:15 PM

Sherry gives a short lecture on marriage . . . or Shel Silverstein . . . or something.   posted by Carlton at 1:07 PM

I'm the new Number 2!  posted by Carlton at 12:46 PM

cold feet?  posted by Carlton at 12:45 PM

showing the rock  posted by Carlton at 12:44 PM

The lovebirds  posted by Carlton at 12:43 PM

I won't be posting for a little while! 

ETA:

Just thought I'd add a bit before going on hiatus. There are some new developments. I'm angling towards a lawyer-type job that would last a little while, and we're having serious conversations about our next steps, professionally and geographically. The wedding is actually the most well-defined part of the whole next several months. We have been trying to nail down the thousand different details accompanying the event -- I don't mind saying that Molly has really taken it by the horns, and I've just been her ignorant helper.

This period immediately before the wedding is really nutty. Anything bad that happens now will be fraught with extra significance: "He had a car accident the week before their wedding!" "He got food poisoning a week before their wedding!" I imagine that a graph of this phenomenon would show the "fraught with significance" level to plateau in this week and then spike sharply on the day itself, when even minor events will seem like omens and portents: "He got a parking ticket on the day of the wedding!" "He woke up and found he had a hangnail on his wedding day!" Then, of course, it will drop off and nothing will have any significance ever again.

Oh, and a note from Carlton Manners: [Edited to remove comment that a person might correctly perceive to be aimed at him- or her- self.]

Ciao, everyone. The wedding is on May 21, 2005, at noon. The Satanic cathedral was booked at midnight, or we would have had it then. We are offering up Molly's younger sister as a sacrifice. posted by Carlton at 9:53 AM

BECAUSE YOU ONLY GET SICK WHEN YOU ARE WORKING, RIGHT?

Here is a link to a post at a blog called Suburban Gorilla (read the one called "National Disgrace") by a woman facing the prospect of losing 1) her job, and thus 2) her health insurance, and 3) her leg from a mysterious illness. I'll spoil the suspense by telling you that she doesn't actually have bone cancer (which is what she feared). But if she DID, and didn't have health insurance, what would she do?

This is a subject close to my heart, as you might imagine. I think it's shameful that we link health care to working at a job a certain number of hours a week -- not only because it leaves a lot of people with no coverage (or paying through the nose for COBRA coverage, like yours truly), but because it is an active brake on business and entrepreneurship in this country. If I were a guy with a great idea for a new business, I would be discouraged from quitting my job at Megacorp, Inc. to set it up, not only because of the financial risks involved but also because Little Freddie Otis Lawless King might get sick and not get proper care because we don't have insurance. And then, even if I get the business going, I will actually have to get into the health insurance business for my employees, paying my share of the rising premiums and facing unbelievable admnistrative hassles.

Makes you think the people behind health policy in this country want to keep the little guy down, at the mercy of his corporate bosses. But that can't be the case, can it? posted by Carlton at 1:28 PM

I DIDN'T KNOW BAPTISTS EXCOMMUNICATED

You may have thought I was kidding about a religious war coming in this country -- actually, I thought I was kidding about a religious war coming in this country. But having just been thinking about such a scenario, this story is a bit discomfiting.

This link is to a local news story in North Carolina -- seems the pastor of a Baptist church there told his followers that, if they supported John Kerry over George Bush, they were against the church and had to either leave or "approach the altar and repent and agree to support George Bush." (The quote is from the video, a link to which may be found here.)
The pastor later said that the move was not "politically motivated." He did not say whether the fact that he is an utter dimwit had anything to do with it, however.

Soooooo . . . that's pretty disturbing. My overriding question here is: who is George Bush that people should identify him with God? Putting aside the questions of whether he's a jerk, a quasi-illiterate, a drug addict, a felon, a deserter, a murderer, and an outright liar -- he's just a man. And take my word for it, he's a man who doesn't really care about a lot of the issues that get the religious right out of bed in the morning: abortion, gay marriage, stem cells. He doesn't care about them at all. posted by Carlton at 10:42 AM

JUST CALL ME CARLTON X

Today's David Brooks Op-Ed in the NY Times calls on, of all people, Lincoln to help us steer our way through the prelude to the upcoming religious war in this country. After telling an anecdote about Lincoln, illustrating the religious conviction of the Great Emancipator, Brooks writes:

Today, a lot of us are stuck in Lincoln's land. We reject the bland relativism of the militant secularists. We reject the smug ignorance of, say, a Robert Kuttner, who recently argued that the culture war is a contest between enlightened reason and dogmatic absolutism. But neither can we share the conviction of the orthodox believers, like the new pope, who find maximum freedom in obedience to eternal truth. We're a little nervous about the perfectionism that often infects evangelical politics, the rush to crash through procedural checks and balances in order to reach the point of maximum moral correctness.

[Emphasis mine]

I have a couple of things to say about this:

1. Who are these militant secularists? My initial reaction was to scoff, because that sounds so much like a conservative straw man, of the same ilk as the welfare queen and Willie Horton. But then I thought about it, and realized that, hey, I'm a militant secularist. I've been secular for a while, I guess, but I was surprised to realize that I'm militant. How long has this been the case? I'm sure it has something to do with the current resident of the White House.

I don't know who Robert Kuttner is, but let's talk about "enlightened reason."

I think that our government, courts and military would work better without any overt references to God being made.

I think that a public school science class should teach the consensus of scientific opinion at the time -- some of it being incorrect, of course, but hopefully the children receiving the instruction will be inspired to find out what is correct and pursue careers in science.

I think that parents teaching their children values at home are infinitely more powerful than teachers in the classroom; that, as a matter of public health, it is vital that children get the basic facts about procreation and STDs somewhere; and that children armed with both school-taught facts and parent-taught values will be far better able to make good decisions than children armed with one or neither.

Is there something wrong with that?

2. David, I know you don't read my blog, because no one does, but give this a listen: I appreciate your revelation that you are conflicted about all this God stuff. I'm heartened that the evangelicals' desire to make every building in the land a church and to burn every book that isn't the Bible bothers you a little bit. I mean, you're late, but I'm sincerely glad to hear it.

But on the day that they take control -- real, unfettered, gloves off control -- do you know where people who were mildly conflicted but figured it could never get THAT bad will be? That's right: waiting for the next train, because all the cattle cars were full on the first one. posted by Carlton at 5:08 PM

GOD PLAYS 'BURY THE BONE'

Funny post here.

Which kind of leads to this sound file, by Bill Hicks, from 1992. (Lots of profanity.)

I kind of expect I won't be posting as much in the near future as I have been. Which is probably better for all concerned. posted by Carlton at 12:16 PM

OVERTURE

I present, for your listening pleasure, a new permalink at left to KEXP Seattle. A correspondant on a political blog recommended this radio station as the best in America, and I can't gainsay that. I've been listening it to it constantly while at the computer for the past few weeks, and I am hearing new and interesting music every day. What's more, they don't seem to play any U2 at all -- so I got my wish!

Listen. Maybe you will get yours. posted by Carlton at 10:17 PM

PLANTS

Lewis Black, from Nothing's Sacred (via Kos):

In my lifetime I have gone from John F. Kennedy to John F. Kerry, and from Dwight D. Eisenhower to George W. Bush. If that's the evolution of leadership in this country, in just a few more years we'll all be voting for plants. Which might not be so bad. After all, thanks to their ecological purpose in this world, at least plants try to clean up the air. And that would certainly be an improvement over what we've got now.

That's all. posted by Carlton at 3:15 PM

AIR FORCE ACADEMY, REVISITED

Here's another article regarding the scandal of religious intolerance at the Air Force Academy. Wht's that you say? What scandal? Well, I think it's scandalous. The author of a new (partisan) report states that this is the worst situation of this type that the military has seen in decades:

Some of the examples cited are bothersome:

The report's authors were told that cadets who refused to attend chapel after dinner were marched by upperclassmen back to their dorms in a ritual called "heathen flight." They found that teachers introduced themselves as "born again" Christians and invited students to be saved as well. A history instructor ordered students to pray before a final exam, the report said. And a Christmas greeting in the base newspaper said Jesus was the only hope for the world; it was signed by 300 people, including 16 heads or deputy heads of academic departments, nine professors, the dean of faculty and the football coach.

And some are just weird:

During a chapel service, [Academy Commander] Weida reportedly told cadets the New Testament parable about building a house on a rock. The story is meant to convey the importance of a solid foundation for one's faith.

"Gen. Weida then instructed cadets that, whenever he uses the phrase 'Airpower!' they should respond with the phrase 'Rock Sir!' thus invoking the parable," the report said. "Gen. Weida advised the cadets that, when asked by their classmates about the meaning of the call and response, the cadets should use the opportunity to discuss their Christian faith."

Read the whole thing. I got it from L.A. Times via Smirking Chimp.

I've already said some things about this. When your religious group unquestionably dominates (the Christians themselves estimate that they make up 90% of the student body at the AFA), there are only two reasons to attempt to convert or stamp out the remaining nonbelievers: paranoia (Enemies! Where are my enemies!) and sadism (This'll show that Jew/Muslim/atheist to reject the holy healing love of my Savior! Hold him down, Jim-Bob!)

The point of this post is this: I think that this religious intolerance in the military is not just out of step with American ideals of diversity. By discouraging non-Christians from attending our military academies, we are shrinking the pool of recruits for our officer corps. That hurts our military. (Unless you think that being a Christan makes one a better soldier/sailor/airman/Marine, in which case I can't help you.)

But here's some more: There is something idiotic about requiring non-believers to go to church. I attended church very regularly for the first twenty years of my life (three times a week!), and infrequently afterwards. I no longer attend church. It didn't work for me. Whether right or wrong, saved or eternally damned, I am very comfortable in my secular lifestyle. If preaching and witnessing would have made me a Bible-thumping Christian, it would have done so by now. Church holds very little attraction for me -- I think the weekly hour would be better spent reading, or sleeping, or spending time with friends, or posting here, or even watching television (if there's something good on).

Beyond that however, forcing everyone to attend church indicates a certain disregard for what people actually believe -- the reality, you might say. In a non-compulsory church world, you only get the people who really want to be there (whether to worship or because of the cute girls is harder to know). In a compulsory church world, however, it's impossible to determine who is there because of real conviction and who is there because of the requirement/consequences of non-attendance. Attending church doesn't make you Christian, but it sure does make you SEEM Christian. If you are Christian and making the rules, seeing every butt in a pew, Atheist Muslim and Jew, means that you don't have THINK about all those non-believers out there. And it's much more comfortable not to have to think about people who think and believe different things from you. posted by Carlton at 1:54 PM

SOME PEOPLE KNIT

So, I've been posting like mad for a week or so, now. You may ask yourself, as I do, why I am doing this. The answer, frankly, is that I DON'T KNOW. I'm not working, my crappy novel is a stone's throw from being done (in draft) and I'm just about to get married. I guess leisure time + anxiety = writing a lot on Planet Carlton. Does anyone really care? Does anybody really know what time it is?

I'm told that blogging is good for your career, though I've yet to see any dividends.

As long as I'm posting, some stories about me (ME! ME! ME!)

The only person I ever met from Mongolia (to my knowledge) was a beautiful woman named Unadarya -- who I guess wrote this, although I have no way of knowing. I met Undarya through Franziska (she of the burning question: Auf dem Weg zu einer europäischen Innenpolitik: Fortschritte durch den Verfassungsvertrag?) in Budapest. Undarya gave me one of the few nicknames I've ever had -- she called me "RCC," which in her mind stood for "Remarkably Consistent Carlton. Apparently, to her, I maintained the same expression and tone of voice no matter what the topic, whether I was remarking that someone's mother had just died or that the tea was ready.

The only other nickname I've ever had was one that I gave myself. I was on a bowling team in college, and I suggested that we all give ourselves "tough bowling nicknames" (I was there for comic relief, since I couldn't bowl fer shiz). I started us off by saying, "Everyone should call me 'Skull.'" Years later, a select few people still call me that.

The name of this blog comes from something that a woman said to me during my year studying in Swansea -- where I met Franziska, interestingly enough. Lindsay and I were friends, and one day she asked me how I was by saying, "How's the weather on Planet Carlton today?" That's about the only conversation I really remember having with her. She has since died, of course -- one of the few people I have known to pass away -- so there will be no more conversations. But it stuck in my head.

Boy, dumb and rambling post. Maybe something more later! posted by Carlton at 5:34 PM

MOVIE REVIEW: KUNG FU HUSTLE

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

This was one funny flick. Maybe it caught me in the right mood, because the thing is pretty darn silly, but I laughed and laughed. At a movie in subtitles.

This movie gets three crowns (out of five). Go see it. posted by Carlton at 2:29 PM

DIRTY DIRTY DIRTY

Via Washington Monthly, a site I read every day, and Obsidian Wings, a site I rarely read, comes the story of the amendment process for the new abortion parental notification bill (CIANA) in the House. Seems the bill makes it a crime to transport a minor across state lines in order for her to have an abortion. (Well, OK -- I don't agree with it, but I see some justification.) The bill was proposed by Republicans, naturally, and some Democrats offered amendments that seem pretty reasonable: common carriers (like bus drivers) wouldn't be subject to the bill, and a minor's grandparents wouldn't be subject, either. (If you start to consider situations in which a bus driver would have to make sure that all underage females on his bus are not pregnant, and that some minor girls are impregnated by their fathers and turn to other family members for help, you can see where these amendments are coming from.)

But NO! Not only were the amendments shot down, but the Republicans rewrote the descriptions of the defeated amendments:

DEMS: a Nadler amendment allows an adult who could be prosecuted under the bill to go to a Federal district court and seek a waiver to the state’s parental notice laws if this remedy is not available in the state court. (no 11-16)
GOP REWRITE: Mr. Nadler offered an amendment that would have created an additional layer of Federal court review that could be used by sexual predators to escape conviction under the bill. By a roll call vote of 11 yeas to 16 nays, the amendment was defeated.

DEMS: a Nadler amendment to exempt a grandparent or adult sibling from the criminal and civil provisions in the bill (no 12-19)
GOP REWRITE: Mr. Nadler offered an amendment that would have exempted sexual predators from prosecution under the bill if they were grandparents or adult siblings of a minor. By a roll call vote of 12 yeas to 19 nays, the amendment was defeated.

Thas' jus' nasty. read the whole post. Funny and snarky!

ADDENDUM: My quick take on fights like this is that they are so dirty because the Republicans are operating from an inherently dishonest position. Most Americans agree with the idea that "abortions are a bad thing and should be discouraged, but there are some circumstances in which they should be allowed." The Republicans, then, try to squeeze their entire "outlaw abortion" agenda into regulating the "some circumstances when they should be allowed." See, if you make those circumstances so narrow that no one can possibly fit into them, it's just as good as outlawing it altogether!

So when the battle comes down to actually trying to do what the Republicans say they are trying to do, they flip out -- because positively establishing when abortons are legal is NOT what they want to do at all! Nice! posted by Carlton at 2:12 PM

A BAND APART

Some time ago, Molly and I sat in a bar and made up the names of several bands, as well as the names of each of their latest albums. Here they are:

Spermicide: Death to all Sperm

This is the first album from a young hardcore band that hardly knows what hit them. The individual members are very talented -- success in the form of a major tour and major-label recording contract, came with a blind mailing of their first demo CD, before they had played a single live show together. Perhaps as a result, Spermicide is having trouble keeping the band together. The bassist wants to get into hip-hop producing, the drummer wants to go back to college and get his MBA, and the lead singer is already itching for a solo deal. Some say that, with the individual members so talented, it would almost be a shame to keep them together, when each perhaps could do more on his own. Years down the road, people will listen to this album and say, "Wow, the president was in a pretty good band!"

The Cranks: We've got Good Taste

This is the seventh album from a once-promising alternative rock band that has hit some rough times. After several tours and a few genuine hits, the band fell apart in the middle 1990s after some money squabbles and a night of drug-fueled wife-swapping. A few years down the road, however, the band realized that their need for money was stronger even than their intense dislike of each other. Strangely, this antipathy, combined with the de-tox of the two two major songwriting members and the band's collective need for income has re-fueled the bands creative engine, producing a 15-track album in three short months that critics have called their best ever.

The Ugly Mothers: Jaws of Life

The twentieth live album from what has been called "The Best Bar Band in the History of the World," Jaws of Life is more of what the Mothers' fan base of drunken fratboys and middle-aged former fratboys crave: beer-soaked pseudo-blues featuring odes to dollar draft night and threesomes with college girls. This band is nothing if not consistent; they have been working the same formula and the same three guitar licks for the past seventeen years.

TrackDaddy: TrackBack -- The Best of TrackDaddy

Filed under "World Music" at your local records store, this CD is a "greatest hits" compilation from an artist who had no hits -- no recordings at all, in fact. TrackDaddy (born Darryl Ibrahim, of an African American Mother and a Syrian father), is widely known to have been influential and on the scene at the genesis of what would come to be known as hip-hop. As an homage to TrackDaddy's influence on this musical style, this CD compiles tracks by old school artists such as Grandmaster Flash and Fab 5 Freddy on which TrackDaddy worked as an uncredited producer. A companion disk includes interviews with several artists, each of whom discusses the contribution TrackDaddy made to their music. Also, each reflects on the loss to the world of hip-hop caused by TrackDaddy's death at the age of 26 in a Detroit movie threater shooting during the premiere of Back To The Future in 1985.

Babycake: Babycake

This is the debut album from 13 year-old tween star Babycake, perhaps better known as the African-American girl with the winning smile on the PBS show Zoom. Protests by parental groups (specifically to the blatent sexuality of the first single, "Put it in my Booty") are sure to make this pre-fab, Pro-tooled record an instant hit, if not worth a listen.


Whiskey Kings: Ace, Deuce, Trey

The three remaining members of indie-rock giant Monster X, after a yearlong hiatus following the death of lead singer Sky, re-emerge as neo-hipster trio Whiskey Kings in this poorly-timed release. While everyone in the music world wishes them well, and the CD does contain at least two listenable tracks ("Check out my New Bowling Shoes" and "Flat-top Shack" in particular), this band seems to be trying to catch a ship of Rat Pack retro nostalgia that has already sailed. Did Brian Crest, the songwriter of the group, get inspiration from a copy of the "Swingers" sountrack from the bargain bin at Wal-Mart? The bowling-shirt, fifties-diner aesthetic just feels off at this point in time. We wish them well, and better luck next time.

Marginal: Oleo Marginal

Another blistering dance recease from mysterious basement mixmaster Marginal, tracks from Oleo Marginal have been ripping up the clubs in New York and L.A. for weeks before the official release date. That's the way Marginal seems to like it -- DJ's in both cities report receiving early mixes of tracks #6 and #8 (which is how they will be titled on the CD) via email for their own use and feedback. The mysterious artist, who has thus far refused to appear in public or be interviewed in person or on the telephone (he conducts a few interviews each year by online chat) has a habit of "spin-testing" his tracks on the dance floors of major venues.

The question on everyone's lips, however is this: is the picture of the portly African-American man with the Afro, Coke-bottle glasses and the reel-to-reel tape recorder on the CD cover really the man himself? A representative for his record label is nocommittal. "This is Marginal's record," he said, "and Marginal approved the cover artwork, as he does with all creative matters. You can draw your own conclusions."

ETA: A new release from indie darling Parcel Post showed up in our Inbox today. Apologies to all their fans who wrote and called wondering where the summary of their new CD "Nicely Packed" might be. posted by Carlton at 10:54 AM

TRIUMPH OF THE SUCK

I may be beating this into the ground, but it is very important to go back to where it all began, the inspiration of the Suck Report. Here they are:

The Sucky Trinity:

Matchbox Twenty (I'm gonna push you around -- and then I'm going to bring Carlos Santana back from the dead so I can make him suck, too.)
Counting Crows ('Round here -- all our songs sound the same. And our lead singer is a bald scummy greaseball.)
Dave Matthews (Crash! Into mediocity!)

Before all the DM fans come after me with torches and pitchforks, I just want to say -- get over it. I don't like your dude. I must have been trapped in an underground lead-lined bunker when the aliens came and used their mind rays on all of humanity, and when I came out everyone liked Dave Matthews. There's no other explanation. ("My God, Spock, this music!" "What is it, Captain?" "It's, it's . . . not very interesting!")

By the way, early reports are that the latest episode of Enterprise . . . wait for it . . . did NOT suck. In fact, it apparently RULED. Not that I'd know. I gave up on that show a long time back. But check out TwoP if you don't believe. posted by Carlton at 9:57 AM

WELL WELL WELL

Oh, I can't help but post something about this (especially since my comment over at Greg's place disappeared with his revamp):

Guckert made more than two dozen excursions to the White House when there were no scheduled briefings. On many of these days, the Press Office held press gaggles aboard Air Force One—which raises questions about what Guckert was doing at the White House. On other days, the president held photo opportunities.

On at least fourteen occasions, Secret Service records show either the entry or exit time missing. Generally, the existing entry or exit times correlate with press conferences; on most of these days, the records show that Guckert checked in but was never processed out.

The whole thing is here.

So, what do YOU think that this gay "military stud 8" uncut" prostitute/journalist was doing at the White House on days when there were no briefings? Which is to say, that he had no journalistic reason to be at the White House? I mean, I could make the OBVIOUS inference, but that would be so, so OBVIOUS. I mean, maybe his grandmother was sick, and he was bringing her hot soup, and she lives at the White House. Or maybe he is a forgetful soul, and he was always leaving his Cross pen that he got for high school graduation from his favorite aunt in the briefing room, and he kept going back to get it, and not wanting to bother anyone didn't check in with White House security and nobody cares because it's just the White House and any old body can walk in there and wander around. Maybe he's trying to be a prostitute/journalist/house painter and he was practicing on the White House.

I'm just wondering if I should include this in the Suck Report. I want to hear more about this -- really, I do.

(It's not the gay-ness, it's not even the prostitute-ness, it's the hypocrite-ness.) posted by Carlton at 11:57 AM

GEEK TRICK

I link, for your perusal, the Geek Heirarchy. And be sure to check out the "frequently paraphrased questions" section. A selection:

As a Ren Faire person, am I more or less geeky than someone who writes fanfic?
This sort of conundrum is the very essence of the complex web of status and discarded candy wrappers that is the Geek Hierarchy. Your position as a fan of science fiction literature (a category which includes nearly all geeks to some extent or another) puts you above fanfic writers, but fanfic writers can say the same to you. Embracing this paradox will lead to understanding of the Geek Nature.

posted by Carlton at 11:02 AM

THE SUCK REPORT: ABLE TO LEAP TALL BUILDINGS IN A SINGLE SUCK

Here's a pic of the new Superman costume. I'm not saying it sucks, itself, but it could be a small cog in a larger machine of suck.

Oh and here's that milquetoast Clark Kent, who never seems to be around when there's any action. posted by Carlton at 10:54 AM

THE SUCK REPORT: THE NEW FACE OF SUCK

It's John Bolton! Even the British hate him! posted by Carlton at 10:51 AM

SACHMO'S LOST RECORDING

Discovered! (Caution, sound file.)

I've heard that a number of other bands have recorded this song, as well. In a non-ironic way. That's as funng as anything. posted by Carlton at 1:12 PM

GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE

This article contains the sweetest two words that I have read in a long time. I knew they would come up eventually, of course. But to read then NOW was such an unexpected pleasure that I thought I'd share them with you fine people.

"We're in the lame-duck period," said John Zogby, an independent pollster. "Each day that passes, the duck gets lamer. The window (of opportunity) has passed. If he wasn't able to come off the voting (in Iraq) and turn it into more of a popular mandate, I don't know what he can do."

Lame duck. Ahhhhhhhh. That song is number ten with a bullet. There's even some truth to it: the centerpiece of Bush's policy plan for the second term, demolishing Social Security, has been a big dud, and the Schiavo thing has been frankly scary for a lot of people. And THEN, if the whole John Bolton nomination gets derailed . . . well, each setback turns down the gas under his aura of invincibility a little bit more.

That's not to say that Bush is actually a lame duck right now. His party still controls the Congress, of course. But until now, their relationship has been all about them giving him what he wants, because he was so strong that riding his coat-tails was a sure path to maintaining power. But if his star begins to set, the Congress may remember that there are things that they want from him, and the Republicans on the Hill are not a unified block of foot soldiers when it comes to their own interests.

And finally, it must be said that the Chief Executive is never powerless, even if the Congress is totally against him. He can issue executive orders, set policy for the military and any of the administrative agencies that do so much of the governing around these parts. (And John Zogby isn't the Oracle at Delphi, either.)

But Lame Duck. It's got a beat, and I can dance to it. posted by Carlton at 12:04 PM

SO WHAT'S MY POINT?

What's the point of that dumb last post? Just this: Anti-intellectualism means never having to explain yourself. Conservatives generally, and religious conservatives in particular, have moved pretty far away from the idea that “having thought and read about a subject means that your opinion might have more weight.” Instead, they have bought heavily into the “just know” school of life. Does God hate gay people? I just know that he does. Does God favor white people over people of other ethnicities? I just know that he does. Is George Bush a good, brave, patriotic man who cares about the little guy? You guessed it. Unfortunately, people who just know things tend not to know much of anything, because knowledge that comes out of the air like that (or worse, from the pulpit of First Baptist) is generally incompatible with verifiable facts and things you might learn in school. (Unless it’s a Christian Academy or homeschool!) posted by Carlton at 9:22 PM

FIRST PRINCIPLES

Here, again, is the First Baptist Church statement of "What We Believe" (with comments):

What We Believe...

About God

God is the Creator and Ruler of the universe. He has eternally existed in three personalities: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. These three are co-equal and are one God.
(Genesis 1:1, 26, 27; Psalm 90:2; Matthew 28:19; 1 Peter 1:2, 2 Corinthians 13:14)

Who? Huh? Wha? Right out of the gate, we're getting hit with several defined terms. I feel like I need a glossary just for the summary. Co-equal? Is that like the three branches of government? Which one is in charge of the Post Office?

So, starting out, we get an idea of what this document is, or rather what it is not. It's NOT a guide for the totally uninitiated -- If I'm sitting at home thinking, "My people have always worshiped trees and spirits of the Earth. Yet the President sure does talk about this God fellow quite a bit. Perhaps I should investigate," I'm not going to learn much here. So maybe if you're starting out as, say, a Catholic, this will make some sense to you.

About Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He is co-equal with the Father. Jesus lived a sinless human life and offered Himself as the perfect sacrifice for the sins of all people by dying on a cross. He arose from the dead after three days to demonstrate His power over sin and death. He ascended to Heavens glory and will return again some day to earth to reign as King of kings and Lord of lords.
(Matthew 1:22-23; Isaiah 9:6; John 1:1-5, 14:10-30; Hebrews 4:14-15; 1 Corinthians 15:3-4; Romans 1:3-4; Acts 1:9-11;
1 Timothy 6:14-15; Titus 2:13)

Um . . . not much more helpful. "Co-equal" has reared its ugly head again. Admittedly, this is a pretty thorny theological question -- what does it mean that Christ was supposedly God and man at the same time? But here we have the question raised with no real attempt at any kind of an answer -- so if I knew enough to understand the question, I remain unenlightened, and if I don't know enough to understand the question, I'm still flummoxed. Either way, it's probably off to Craigslist Missed Connections with me (Missed connection: Useful Information)

About the Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit is co-equal with the Father and the Son of God. He is present in the world to make us aware of our need for Jesus Christ. He also lives in every Christian with power for living, understanding of spiritual truth, and guidance in doing what is right. He gives every believer a spiritual gift when they are saved. As Christians, we seek to live under His control daily.
(2 Corinthians 3:17; John 16:7-13, 14:16-17; Acts 1:8; Ephesians 5:18; 1 Corinthians 2:12, 3:16; Ephesians 1:13;
Galatians 5:25)

I'm just going to ignore the "co-equal" thing here. So the Holy Spirit's job is to make us aware of our need for Jesus Christ (previously mentioned). He will give me a gift when I'm saved. "Saved?" As far as living under His control, that makes the Spirit sound like either 1) my shift supervisor at Arby's, 2) Joseph Stalin, or 3) the Ferengi in that episode of Star Trek: TNG that gave Captain Picard that artifact that interfered with his brainwaves and made him think he was still captain of the Stargazer. I don't think any of those are meant here -- but if I don't know that already, I won't learn it here!

About the Bible

The Bible is God’s Word to us. It was written by human authors, under the supernatural guidance of the Holy Spirit. It is the supreme source of truth for Christian beliefs and living. Because it is inspired by God, it is the truth without any mixture of error.
(2 Timothy 3:16; 2 Peter 1:20-21; 2 Timothy 1:13; Psalm 119:105, 160, 12:6; Proverbs 30:5)

This is actually pretty useful. Let's go ahead and give that I know the Bible is a book that Christians are always reading, but I don't know what the heck it is. And the "no error" thing, which I personally think is pretty retarded, is an actual belief that would separate the FBC Christians from other Christians. Full marks. (Extra points would have been given if this entry had mentioned that the strange code at the bottom of each of these entries referred to sections of this Bible, and that the code refers to book, chapter, verse -- but since this is technically a page about "belief," it's not absolutely necessary.)

About Human Beings

People are made in the spiritual image of God, to be like Him in character. People are the supreme object of God’s creation. Although every person has tremendous potential for good, all of us are marred by an attitude of disobedience toward God called “sin.” This attitude separates people from God and causes many problems in life.
(Genesis 1:27; Psalm 8:3-6; Isaiah 53:6; Romans 3:23; Isaiah 59:1-2)

Hey, a term is defined! "Sin" = and attitude of disobedience. Gold Star!

About Salvation

Salvation is God’s free gift to us. We can never make up for our sin by self-improvement or good works. Only by trusting in Jesus Christ as God’s offer of forgiveness can anyone be saved from sin’s penalty. When we turn from our self-ruled life and turn to Jesus in faith we are saved. Eternal life begins the moment one receives Jesus Christ into his life by faith.
(Romans 6:23; Ephesians 2:9; John 14:6, 1:12; Titus 3:5; Galatians 3:26; Romans 5:1)

Oooh, a step back. "Salvation" is never quite defined here, although we are told how to get it: turn from "self-rule" to "Jesus in faith." I understand all of that except the part in quotation marks. There is a real question here: if I'm not supposed to rule my own life, and instead let Jesus do it, how does that work? I checked out a bit of that Bible book, and it doesn't really say much about me in there. Does Jesus talk to me? Does he have an agent who releases statements on his behalf? Didn't I read above that he was gone and wouldn't be back until later?

As far as that last sentence goes, every word except "the moment" is part of a phrase that needs serious clarification.

[Skipping "About Eternal Security"]

Eternity

People were created to exist forever. We will either exist eternally separated from God by sin, or eternally with God through forgiveness and salvation through Christ. To be eternally separated from God is Hell. To be eternally in union with Him is eternal life. Heaven and Hell are real places of eternal existence.
(John 3:16, 5:11-13; Romans 6:23; Revelation 20:15; Matthew 1:8, 2:44, 46)

Wha? Here is a sentence that eats iself: "Heaven and Hell are real places of eternal existence." If you say "Heaven and Hell are real places," that's a pretty bold statement. But you don't. They are real places "of eternal existence." Which means they aren't "real" places, that you can get to on foot or by rocket sled or dirigible. Putting aside the fact that the writer of this has rhetorically failed to link the terms "Heaven" and "eternal life" so that I'm left wondering whether I need to worry about whether "Heaven" is a real place (and "eternal life" supposedly begins when I "accept Jesus," so I'm confused again. Do I go to Heaven when I accept Jesus? While I'm still alive?)

My biggest problem with this paragraph is that it is entitled "Eternity" but does not tell you want it means by eternity. Is this talking about what happens when you die? I didn't see the words "die," "death" or "afterlife" anywhere in this document. And I used the Ctrl+F function!

Wow, that was so much fun that I'm a little queasy. posted by Carlton at 8:11 PM