Gentle Reader -- You are welcome to peruse my web-based journal. I assure you that my contributions to this medium will be both infrequent and inconsequential. Read on!

YAHOO! SERIOUS . . . LY SCREWED

Dear Friends: Something is wrong with my yahoo -- it's blocking some messages and letting others through. If any of you have tried to reach me via that address and I haven't responded, that's why. Please leave a message in comments and I'll get back to you.

Nobody's sorrier than I am about this. posted by Carlton at 7:57 PM

300 MEN IN LEATHER HOTPANTS, CONT.

I figured I was done with 300, but I've seen enough commentary on the film to make a small roundup worthwhile:

1. 300 is homophobic. Bonus message: white people should totally kill all those brown people.

2. 300 could be about "how race-baiting fantasy and nationalist myth can serve as an incitement to total war," but it isn't. It's just homophobic and racist.

3. 300 is totally gay. In fact, it's about the conflict between butches and femmes.

4. It's anti-Iranian propaganda!

5. 300 has no central message, excapt that it is deeply Anti-American.

6. It's . . . confusing. Which one is supposed to be us again?

And now, my take:

If I were to make a direct comparison between the movie and current events (which I would never do), I'd say that the movie illustrates the peril of sending an insufficient number of soldiers for a mission -- even if they are the best trained, best-equipped, most mostivated soldiers in the world. Even if they are all volunteers, with nine-pack abs.

The thing that cracked me up during the movie was when the Spartan characters spoke about how they were all free men, and how they were preserving freedom for generations to come, ushering in a new age of freedom, etc. I'm no historian, of course, but I do believe that Sparta was a slave-holding, autocratic, military dictatorship that killed its own children if they showed any sign of physical or mental defect. I also think that this "New Age" that the Spartans ushered in included Greece's subjugation to the Roman Empire, etc. etc.

I hope that answers everyone's questions. posted by Carlton at 9:35 AM

NEGATORY ON THE STATUTORY, DUDE

Just to show that love can build a bridge . . . between your husband and a child younger than 13.

NASHVILLE, Tennessee (AP) -- Country music star Wynonna Judd said she filed for
divorce Tuesday from her estranged husband, Dan R. Roach, after his arrest last
week in Texas on sex charges involving a minor.
Roach, 49, was arrested
Thursday in Abilene and charged with three counts of aggravated sexual battery
against a child younger than 13 in Nashville, police said.

Oh dear. My sympathies to Ms. Judd, and nothing at all to Mr. Roach. posted by Carlton at 9:22 AM

JACOB HAVE I LOVED . . . OH WAIT, HATED

I check the sitemeter for this li'l page every so often, and so few people visit that I can look at most of them -- where in the world they are (generally), what brought them here (although NOT any names, addresses, etc.). Every so often there is a minor swarm of visitors looking for something about "Jacob at TwoP" or "Jacob recap" or some such. Those searches turn up some of my old posts, in which I expostulate on the craptastitude of the man's writing about Battlestar Galactica and Doctor Who. (Not the man himself, mind you. Just his writing.)

Now those searches will turn up this post as well!

For those interested, here's my one sentence policy statement on the subject of Jacob's writing: I'm avoiding it, and I'm avoiding anything referring to it. posted by Carlton at 2:08 PM

READING FREAKONOMICS IN BELGRADE

The book Freakonomics, which my wife and I both read and enjoyed, has been translated into Serbian. As the authors note on their blog, everything was translated, including the author's names and the proper names in the "Whitest and Blackest Children's Names" chapter.

If you were a Serbian reader, you would be left believing that some of the
blackest names in America are Sanis and Precis, and some of the whitest are
Dzejk and Hanter. And our predictions for the most popular American names in
2015: Vejverli, Kejt, Aser, and Vil.

More here. posted by Carlton at 10:54 AM

300 MEN IN LEATHER HOTPANTS

I went to see 300 this weekend, which was more entertaining than I expected. A bit heavy on the "freedom isn't free, and sometime you have to break laws to save the nation!" message, but fun.

In other news:

Before 300, there was a preview for a new horror/supernatural movie starring Hilary Swank, in which she stars as a supernatural investigator (who -- surprise! -- doesn't believe in the supernatural) , checking out events in some boonie town in the States that mirror the plagues of Egypt. Fire, locusts, etc. I know this because the preview telegraphed what must be every key scene in the movie -- that's pretty standard these days.

At one point, words flashed on the screen: Water Into Blood.

I thought: dang, that's a cool title for a movie, even a crummy one.

Then more words: What Hath God Wrought?

I thought: Whoa, another pretty cool title. But wait, which is it?

The real title of the movie: The Reaping.

Ugh. 100% derivative. Who does these things? The Shining, The Haunting, etc.

Get ready for The Reaping II: The Reapening. posted by Carlton at 9:30 AM

WHERE THE !#$% DO IDEAS COME FROM?

Recently, I had a very short (consisting of exactly one message from each side) email conversation with an old friend about writing, and we exchanged some inspirational quotes regarding the keeping up of the chin, the staving off of the quitting, the putting of it all in perspective, etc. It was all very nice.

But I just ran across this videoblog on the same topic, which does a pretty decent job of summing up the whole conundrum. Watch it. (If you don't like some bad language, especially in catchy little songs, then don't watch it.) posted by Carlton at 10:18 AM

ADDENDUM

. . . to the last post, is something the OpEd writer makes clear but I didn't quote: That these letters from the FBI essentially turn private citizens into deputies of the Secret Police, requiring us to inform on one another, keep secrets from one another, lie to one another. The letters can (and have, evidently, in the case of the writer) come between lovers, family members, spouses, in that one is legally prohibited from discussing the matter with the other.

Here's a question: has anyone been prosecuted for violating the gag order? If they had, would we know?

. . . or maybe I did quote the relevant part. What, you want me to read my own posts? posted by Carlton at 11:34 AM

GAGGED

An anonymous OpEd in the WaPo this morning regarding National Security Letters issued by the FBI. It's anonymous because the writer was the recipient of one such letter, and is subject to a legal order prohibiting him from revealing that he received the letter. Interestingly, the gag order is still in place -- even after the underlying investigation has ended and he is challenging the legitimacy of the letter itself.

Living under the gag order has been stressful and surreal. Under the threat
of criminal prosecution, I must hide all aspects of my involvement in the case
-- including the mere fact that I received an NSL -- from my colleagues, my
family and my friends. When I meet with my attorneys I cannot tell my girlfriend
where I am going or where I have been. I hide any papers related to the case in
a place where she will not look. When clients and friends ask me whether I am
the one challenging the constitutionality of the NSL statute, I have no choice
but to look them in the eye and lie.

I resent being conscripted as a secret informer for the government and
being made to mislead those who are close to me, especially because I have
doubts about the legitimacy of the underlying investigation.

The rest is here.

I feel safer all the time. posted by Carlton at 9:18 AM

SOMEBODY FIGURED IT OUT

YouTube video (30 seconds?): two competing perspectives on the Bush administration. Number one: try to believe that they are reasonable people and will do what they ought to do because well, deep down they know what's right. Number two: acknowledge that they are unrepentant thugs who will commit crime after crime until they are made to stop.

The video: Arlen Specter (number one) and Patrick Leahy (number two) arguing over whether to accept the White House's terms regarding testimony of senior officials. posted by Carlton at 6:33 PM

SIGNATURES

Not the defunct Jack Abramoff restaurant -- actual signatures.

I link to the following, in which an intrepid guerreilla consumer goes to great lengths to figure out exactly what you can put in the signature line of a credit-card transaction form and still make the purchase. Answer as follows:

Credit Card Prank I

Credit Card Prank II

The answer may surprise you. Or it may not. Or you may fall asleep out of boredom. (Probably not, though.) posted by Carlton at 1:55 PM

YOU HAVE CHOSEN WISELY . . . OR NOT

Update to last post: this is a good thing unless CB is cast as Harrison Ford's love interest. I mean, he's a movie hunk of yesteryear, emphasis on the yesteryear. The man is in his sixties, people, and she is in her thirties.

I'm sure he likes much younger blondes (c.f. Calista) -- and he's rich and famous enough to have a bevy of them waiting at home to welcome him with his slippers, pipe and a dollop of personal lubricant. But I have 1) fond memories of the Indiana Jones franchise, and 2) a good deal of admiration for Ms. Blanchett -- both for her art and her pulchritude. The enactment of a certain party's old man fantasies onscreen endangers both, in my mind. posted by Carlton at 10:01 AM

"YOU HAVE CHOSEN . . . WISELY"

Evidently, Cate Blanchett has signed on to the new Indiana Jones movie!

Folks, it doesn't get much better than that.

Unless the movie sucks, of course.


posted by Carlton at 11:46 AM

THE BLOG WELCOMES NEW FRIENDS

. . . from Ireland and China. I suppose you know who you are, because I don't! posted by Carlton at 11:09 AM

DELICIOUS!

Some of you may remember Jean Schmidt, Congresswoman of Ohio, for having the unmitigated . . . courage to get on the House floor and call (former Marine) Rep Jack Murtha a coward for supporting withdrawal from Iraq. If you don't, here's some video -- and it's worth watching, if only for her patriotic outfit!

Anyway, the other day . . .

Meanwhile, today [March 15] on the Hill, Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-Ohio) was seen making a
spectacle of herself when the unlucky lawmaker slipped and fell in what we’re
told was vomit, in a bathroom in Cannon. (Some nice female dealing with the
repercussions of Jason Roe’s going away party by chance?) “She made THE
biggest scene in the hallway,” says a staffer who escaped the, um,
regurgitation. “It’s literally all down her back.”

Poor thing. Poor poor thing. posted by Carlton at 4:07 PM

SOME ADVICE

From the comments to a CNN/Money article re: the housing market:

Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold.

If you want your family to have any food at all through the coming
calamity, make sure you stay away from fiat "money" and get into *real* hard
assets.

Here is what we have been doing:

1. Sold the house and moved into a much smaller place that we own outright.
It's pretty far from any major city but it's cheap and away from potential
harm.
2. Stock piled food (mostly canned goods, but also plenty of wheat and
other grains.)
3. Installed a large underground water cistern and rain water
collectors.
4. Setup solar cells for once the grid goes down.
5. Started to learn Chinese for when this becomes a requirement.

If you want to protect you and your family from the coming chaos, consider
these changes. Stop what you're doing and start saving hard assets and
foodstuffs. And get out of your house while it's still worth
something.
Posted By Ficke, Albany VT : 5:01 PM

Don't say nobody ever told you! Ficke told you! posted by Carlton at 9:04 PM

OH, THIS ONE'S FUN

So, the Justice Department initiates an inquiry into the whole warrantless wiretapping thing from last year (sooooo last year. Nobody cares about that any more!).

AG Gonzales, head of the Justice Department, gets wind that the inquiry will invove him. So . . .what does he do? Like any good civil servant, he goes to his manager, who takes care of it:

Bush personally intervened to sideline the Justice Department probe in April
2006 by taking the unusual step of denying investigators the security clearances
necessary for their work.
It is unclear whether the president knew at the
time of his decision that the Justice inquiry -- to be conducted by the
department's internal ethics watchdog, the Office of Professional Responsibility
-- would almost certainly examine the conduct of his attorney general.

Oho! So the investigators aren't cleared to do the job that they were assigned! Other options to stymie them: 1) Assigning investigators to offices which have been constructed without doors or windows; 2) Requiring that investigators review relevant documents from outside Justice HQ through a telescope; 3) Denying investigator requests for office supplies, light bulbs, electricity, heat, food, water and oxygen. posted by Carlton at 1:18 PM

BLOGS WERE IGNORED

Ah the blog. It has that familiar-yet-strange feel of a neglected summer home. I haven't been posting very much -- it's funny to realize that events move on whether or not I memorialize my views on them. I had thought that my voice was central to the discourse.

There's a lot going on these days -- Scooter went down, Alberto is going down, various flunkies of Alberto's are going down, too. Congresspeople from New Mexicio are going down. There is even talk -- that would have been considered feverish ravings six months ago -- that Dick Cheney may be going down. Now that would be interesting.

Getting rid of these people would be rational behavior on the part of the Administration. Keeping liabilities around out of loyalty could sink the whole boat, as Bush nearly did with Rumsfeld. Dare I hope that a lesson was learned? (Need i say that I hope NOT?) As the good people of Battlestar Galactica determined two seasons ago, if you have a fire that endangers the whole ship, you have to open the airlocks. Some of your crew will be vented into space, but they'll be all right if they have protected themselves by wearing their vacuum gear.

If they felt so secure in their positions that they didn't take any measures to protect themselves, just stupidly went about their assigned duties assuming that their proximity to the Commander meant that nothing could happen to them . . .

In space, no one can hear you scream. In disgrace, no one will listen.



posted by Carlton at 11:15 AM

APPALLING

I don't have a lot to say about this, so I'll just link to it.

OK, I guess I have two things to say:

1. I don't know how you can reach out and stop this sort of thing, which is disturbing. If someone decides to harass you on the Interweb, where do you turn? I say this as I post on this nice little blog of mine . . .

and

2. Some of you may be aware that I attended law school, and that I currently work as an attorney. I've known law students and private lawyers and government lawyers. Most of them are nice; many are boring as hell. Quite a few have something missing -- bright successful, attractive people who seem to have no spark of life in them. Many, many seem to have no inner gauge of self-worth, and so define themselves by material wealth: "I must have value! This watch cost $2,000!"

And then there are the other ones. I have met a lot of people in this profession (or seeking to join) who are filled with rage, or controlled by fear, or a pathological need for approval. Those are the ones who became lawyers to make Daddy love them, or to get women to pay attention to them, or just to make everyone SHUT UP AND LISTEN or YOU'LL BE SORRY! posted by Carlton at 11:44 PM

ONE QUESTION QUIZ

I post this because I didn't know it, and chances are I'm not the only one.

via Kevin Drum:

For example. True or false. Walter Reed is a VA hospital. The answer is false.
The VA has nothing to do with Walter Reed, which is an Army hospital. That's why
the Secretary of the Army took the fall.

There's more, by a guy who has written a book about the VA. Interesting. posted by Carlton at 10:06 AM

CONSERVAPEDIA

Many, many bloggers are having a great deal of well-deserved fun at the expense of the new (?) Conservapedia site. If you haven't heard of it, it's the right-wing's answer to Wikipedia (using the same software, it looks like), weighing in with the real scoop on all kinds of fun topics. There's lots of easy pickings for enlightenment -- much has been made of the entry for Unicorn:

The existence of unicorns is controversial. Secular opinion is that they
are mythical. However, they are referred to in the Bible nine times, which
provides an unimpeachable de facto argument for their once having been in
existence.

If you think that being mentined in the Bible creates an "unimpeachable de facto argument" for anything, unicorned or otherwise . . . well, you can just go on like that. I hope it makes you happy.

But almost every entry has some delicious morsel in it. I happened to read the entry for Copernicus, (the Earth-around-the-Sun-not-vice-versa guy) which seemed pretty straightforward, if a little juvenile. The last sentence, however, is a killer:

To this day, most Protestant countries reject the Copernican theory.

What are these "Protestant countries?" How may are there? Three? Seven? Twenty? And MOST of them reject the idea that the Earth revolves around the Sun? Really?

Bear in mind that the attention that the site has received will shortly pollute its wingnut glory with input from well-meaning Factinistas and ill-meaning vandals. But right now, it's gold. posted by Carlton at 9:34 AM